Do you keep threatening to pursue your truest passions – but can’t seem to find the time, energy and courage to motivate?
I relate. Truly! I wasn’t always a full-time writer. Over a decade ago I was a Sr. Vice President Creative Director in advertising, who was always threatening to quit my high-paying, high-stressing, low-free-time job to pursue my passion for writing.
But I was like the girl who cried wolf. Always saying I was gonna quit—but not doing it.
Admittedly there was a huge part of me that was afraid.
Not just about the money angle. I was afraid to let go of a lovely fantasy about a parallel universe in which I existed as “Happy-Go-Lucky Author Girl.”
I was afraid to potentially risk giving up this fantasy – in case my fantasy didn’t come true.
Chogyam Trungpa wrote: “True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; but going BEYOND fear…by fear-less we don’t mean ‘less fear’ but ‘beyond fear.’”
I knew I needed to get to this beyond-fear place. Here’s how I did did my fear busting.
You know how it’s easier to walk a plank that’s on solid ground, instead of one that’s plunked above an alligator-infested lagoon — because the fear of those yapping hungry alligators makes you less focused on what you desire?
The same is true with your career. You must avoid staring at your metaphorical-alligators, and instead stay focused on your supporting plank, which in careerland is composed of two strong fibers:
(1) Your confidence — what you know you have going for you
(2) Your passion — what know you really want
When I finally did quit my ad career, it was because I finally stopped staring at my metaphorical-alligators – which for me were:
“I’ll never be a published book author! Heck, I’ve never even written one itty bitty magazine piece! Geez, what will I do for income if I fail – afterall, I have a child to support… MYSELF!”
Instead I focused on my supporting plank:
my confidence (in my writing-skills, discipline, persistence, resilience, optimism, meeting people, learning quickly, following-through) and my passion (my excitement to be a writer in a BIGtime way!)
YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
If you’re stuck in a job you hate it’s probably because you’re staring at your metaphorical-alligators. Today re-focus on your supporting plank. Make a list of your areas of high self esteem and reasons for high passion. Whenever fear strikes, strike back with these lists!
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A wise woman and her young disciple were walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an angry man in a carriage drove haphazardly by the two, insensitively pushing the woman out of his way. She landed in a ditch filled with muddy water. The woman yelled after the man in the carriage, “May you have everything you want!” The disciple, surprised by the wise woman’s response, said: “I’m confused. Why did you say that to a man with such horrible behavior?” The woman replied, “Because a happy man wouldn’t have thoughtlessly pushed a woman into a ditch.”
Do you agree with this woman’s response? In my book The Bounce Back Book, I offer empowering strategies for embracing forgiveness and liberating yourself from anger and bitterness—even in the most challenging situations.
Here are 8 strategies to free you from your resentments starting today!
1. Say a Prayer
Whenever angry feelings about a person who’s harmed you enter your mind, tell yourself: “We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost.” Pray for this person to find their way back to a happier place—in the same way the woman in this story prayed for her offender.
2. Focus on Gratitude
Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out. If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride! Happiness must always be an inside joy! Whenever you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate. It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.
(NOTE: The following is an excerpt from my newest Huffingtonpost article — which you can read fully HERE!)
True story: Lately I have been finding myself cutting down on the massive amounts of coffee I love to drink, not for health reasons, but for time management reasons. These days, I often go from one conference call to another, then head from one meeting to another, to writing one thing or another — and so I literally barely have time to hit the restroom — let alone rest.
It seems every morning I wake up to face a list of 20 things to do, with time only to do 10, and somehow I always wind up squishing in 30.
In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, author Sogyal Rinpoche describes a Western tendency he calls “active laziness”: the need to compulsively cram your life with a myriad of unimportant activities, leaving little time to confront what really matters. He jokingly renames the petty projects called “responsibilities” as “irresponsiblities.“
What Rinpoche describes is reminiscent of what author Milan Kundera philosophized about in his book Slowness, a slender volume I ironically sped through in a night. Kundera explains how we live in a highly sped-up culture, and that our need for speed promotes forgetting. For example: If you want to forget something, you will pick up speed walking down the street. If you want to remember something, you’ll slow down your steps.
Kundera warns how speeding up your life not only keeps you from remembering daily details (“Oops! Forgot to pick up more milk!”) but also keeps you forgetful about your overall life values and how to live your most passion-filled, love-filled, growth-filled, fun-filled life.
Meaning? The next time you find yourself racing quickly down the street, know that you’re not only running to your next appointment, you are literally running from contact with your truest feelings, deepest needs and most valuable insights.
With all this in mind… I offer some HELPFUL and thereby HEALTHFUL tips on HUFFINGTONPOST — for not only saving time but enjoying your life more, dammit! Read ‘em by clicking RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
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