Monthly Archive for August, 2009
I will be posting sneak peek love-boosting tips here on this blog - so stay tuned! Plus, I will be offering all kinds of PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME coaching and seminars - some info for this can be found by CLICKING HERE!
My new book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME offers a new kind of philosophy on love - based on ancient Greek philosophies from Aristotle - merged with modern cognitive therapy — delivered with feisty humor.
(Jon Stewart from THE DAILY SHOW says: “Salmansohn has the soul of a stand up comic. The battle of the sexes has a brave new gladiator!”)
If right now you feel like ALL dating should be renamed “blind dating” — and instead of saying “I’m seeing someone!” you should be more honest and say “I’m dimly viewing someone!” — then my new book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME is for you!
del.icio.us · Slashdot · Digg · Facebook · Technorati · Google · StumbleUpon · YahooIF YOU WANT YOUR DREAMS TO COME TRUE YOU MUST NOT ONLY STOP NEGATIVE BELIEFS/HABITS - YOU MUST STOP AND SWAP THEM!
The only way to turn REPEATED PAIN into DEFEATED PAIN is to STOP your negative, darkened, self-destructive beliefs/habits and then SWAP them in for positive, bright, self-instructive beliefs/habits.
Of course you recognize stopping and swapping your learned beliefs/habits is not so simple….because alas, you are human and thereby very complicated.
Yes, you as a human have some very complicated wiring that’s been inputted since childhood… and rewiring it all can be not only be time consuming and exhausting…but VERY, VERY scary!
Yes, rewiring yourself might give you a BIG SHOCK!
But…if you don’t bother to rewire yourself, this complicated miracle machinery called the universe will attempt to rewire you for you! Suddenly you’ll notice that The Universe is giving you many SHOCKING EXPERIENCES! This is The Universe’s plan to shock you out of your REPETITION COMPULSION TRANCE…jumpstart you to restart your life … with a new better start!
It’s like this:
The Universe knows there’s a better way to live than with your incorrect, incomplete, negative, braindirtied beliefs about the world. And so The Universe is always trying to WAKE YOU UP FROM YOUR REPETITION COMPULSION TRANCE… by giving you shocks – PANGS OF PAIN – and if need be A VERY BIG EMERGENCY PANG OF CRISIS PAIN!
Just as alchemy is the process of using fire to turn a bunch of dirt into gold…pain works like fire, turning disappointment into advancement…. turning all that blind sight…into 20/20 insight!
PAIN IS YOUR EVOLUTIONARY BUDDY… a highly effective “Please Evolve NOW Prompter” to get you to go with the Darwinian program, and evolve, baby, evolve.
And whenever you experience crisis pain — a major nightmare event in your life — this is always The Universe’s emergency effort to WAKE YOU UP from your Repetition Compulsion slumber…so you can start to alertly lead a better life…and in particular, BE the leader of your life, instead of allowing your life to be led by that lousy braindirted subconscious guide you’ve been foolishly following!
Yes, pain’s total purpose is to perk you up… get you to rise and shine!
And SHINE you will…because pain is what gets you motivated to finally shed light on all your darkness!
Desperation is the big mother of Higher Consciousness.
High enough levels of pain encourage you to finally say ENOUGH, dammit… and REACH UP HIGH FOR HELP…REACH UP TO YOUR HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. When you look back at your life you can see …every one of your epiphanies… and their accompanying growth spurts… all occurred after your were whacked with immense pain.
Although pain is one hell of a life teacher, you can be self-taught without relying on pain as your main instructor.
You can teach yourself to improve your life by teaching yourself to SELF-RUN YOUR MIND….and stop foolishly operating your mind on auto-pilot Repetition Compulsion mode!
Yes, you CAN teach your old brain some new tricks.
And you know the first trick you have to teach your brain…
You must change your mind’s mind about its view of change!
You MUST STOP believing in your negative belief: CHANGE = NEW POTENTIAL PAIN.
After all, that’s just your braindirtied subconscious talking… telling you to stay on your same old familiar dark path, because familiarity feels safer than heading off in a new direction!
But thankfully you now know better! You know…
CHANGE does not equal POTENTIAL MORE PAIN
CHANGE = YOUR SNAGGING YOUR DREAM QUEST!
CHANGE does not equal FEAR AND DREAD
CHANGE = BEING WILDLY EXCITED BECAUSE ALL WILL SOON BE YOURS! WOOHOO!
You know…Because nature abhors a vacuum (almost as much as you abhor to vacuum) it’s important that whenever you get rid of an old negative belief, that you not only STOP it but you SWAP it. Why? Your brain needs to have something new to refocus itself on.
If you only STOP and don’t have something to SWAP…then your brain will wind up feeling “empty handed” ….and then your brain will immediately head on back to get its old beliefs, so it has something to hold onto…because your brain is used to holding onto something!
Yes, you now know that whenever you STOP a negative belief (ie.CHANGE = POTENTIAL MORE PAIN) you must always SWAP in a positive belief (ie CHANGE = SNAGGING YOUR DREAM QUEST) so your brain ALWAYS has something to HOLD ONTO AND THINK ABOUT!
In fact this STOP AND SWAP REFOCUS SWITCHEROO is essential in all cases, small and large, if you want to get what you want!
WITH ALL THIS IN MIND…IF YOU WANT TO SAY “ENOUGH DAMMIT” TO THE NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE, YOU MUST FOLLOW A SPECIFIC PROGRAM OF 5 LIFE BELIEF STOP N SWAP TECHNIQUES:
LIFE BELIEF STOP AND SWAP
technique #1 of 5
You need to swap a NEGATIVE closed mind for a POSITIVE open mind…and seek an alternate meaning for past patterns of pain and failure.
LIFE BELIEF STOP AND SWAP
technique #2 of 5
You need to swap NEGATIVE blame for POSITIVE self-responsibility..and see your role in all that has happened to you.
LIFE BELIEF STOP AND SWAP
technique#3 of 5
You need to swap NEGATIVE focus on scarcity….acceptance of a bummer of a life for a POSITIVE focus on attaining your EXCITING, OO-LA-LA DREAM QUEST…a new exciting drive to drive yourself towards
LIFE BELIEF STOP AND SWAP
technique#4 of 5
You need to swap NEGATIVE doubt (beliefs in inscarcity) for POSITIVE faith (beliefs in abundance).
LIFE BELIEF STOP AND SWAP
technique#5 of 5
You need to swap NEGATIVE exasperation and laziness for POSITIVE energized enthusiastic discipline …and keep up your will to win, win, win!
(NOTE:This was the last in my weekend series of posts from my first manuscript for ENOUGH DAMMIT. The book changed a lot as I moved forward in writing it and publishing it. The final book can be found here…. I hope you were CLUNKED with some new thoughts and ideas which have helped you see your life in new and empowering ways! Happy Sunday dammit! xo)
del.icio.us · Slashdot · Digg · Facebook · Technorati · Google · StumbleUpon · Yahoo(NOTE: THIS IS A FREE SAMPLE OF THE WRITER’S FIRST MANUSCRIPT FOR ENOUGH DAMMIT - FOR MORE TUNE IN TOMORROW - OR CHECK IT OUT MORE HERE….!)
Your subconscious is what braindirtied up your lens on the world in the first place — by allowing all your dark beliefs on the world to collect! Because your subconscious cannot see the world rightly, it cannot see any new improved paths that would lead you to a new, better place.
So, instead your subconscious takes you on the paths it already knows …hence you sometimes find yourself going down the same old negative paths… again and again!
Although you know this sounds rather nutty of your subconscious, you also know this to be so.
HOW YOUR NUTTY LITTLE LIFE WORKS IN A NUTSHELL:
You aim yourself towards what your subconscious has learned to be the map of the world …not toward what you consciously want and all the world offers. “Destiny” is really just a pithy little word that means: “Subconscious beliefs about the world that make you do the things you do. “
Whenever you’re having a lot of failure, it’s because your subconscious — with its braindirtied lens — has an incorrect, incomplete view of the world. And so it takes you down the paths it already knows, guiding you back to the same ol’ places….which unfortunately can often be: HEARTBREAK LANE, DISAPPOINTMENT CITY, VILLAGE OF FAILURE!
All of this reminds you of something Freud once said about the past. You have two ways to relive your past:
1. Through your memories
2. Through your actions
Meaning, you can relive your past by:
1. Overdoing your daily thoughts about your past
2. Choosing current situations that are doppelgangers to your past …being led to these familiar reenactments by the urgings of your braindirtied subconscious mind.
You know Freud had a name for these urges of your subconscious to instinctively seek out the familiar: “Repetition Compulsion”
“Repetition Compulsion” is why you as a child were attracted to re-hearing the same familiar cute bedtime story — again and again.
“Repetition Compulsion” is also why you as an adult can often be attracted to seeking the same familiar crazy-stormy romantic bedtime scenarios — again and again.
Freud believed your urge for repetition worked like this:
Although on a conscious level you might know you don’t want to feel pain again …. your braindirtied subconscious finds an instinctive déjà vu pleasure in being able to return to a time that’s familiar …so much so it’s hard for it to resist ANYTHING that’s familiar…even familiar PAIN!
Freud theorized your subconscious had a goal in returning to familiar pain:
“Let’s go back in time and try to restore things as how they should have been in the first place,” thinks your subconscious, “because heck, I don’t even know yet that there can be a second place …or a third place …some other painfree place… instead of just this first painful place!”
When you think about all this, you’re reminded of something you once read in a big, thick boring book about modern day cognitive therapy.
THE CLIFF NOTES FROM A BIG THICK BORING BOOK ON MODERN DAY COGNITIVE THERAPY: Cognitive therapists describe how when a person is caught up in a cycle of repeated painful circumstances it’s always because they are suffering from a repression that blinds this person to only believing in their early maladaptive schema.
When you first read this you thought: Maladaptive WHAT? Then thankfully you read the big, boring book’s two easy-to-understand examples.
TWO EASY TO UNDERSTAND EXAMPLES OF “MALADAPTIVE SCHEMA”:
EXAMPLE #1:
If you grew up being mentally or physically abused by a parent, you will develop an ”early maladaptive schema” that you are “unlovable” – and then be led by your subconscious into craving patterns of pain that support your beliefs.
EXAMPLE #2:
If you were repeatedly criticized for your performance by a parent, then you will develop ”early maladaptive schema” that you are “incompetent, a failure” – and then you will be led by your subconscious into craving patterns of pain that support your beliefs.
What Freud calls “Repetition Compulsion” and Cognitive Therapists call “Maladaptive Schema” you call “A Portable Childhood”…which is basically your belief that you seem to have this self-torturing urge to carry your heavy childhood baggage with you wherever you go…to the office … into a relationship… rather than drop all your past childhood baggage permanently on the curbside, so you can move swiftly forward without being weighed down!
YOUR PORTABLE CHILDHOOD THEORY FURTHER EXPLAINED QUICKLY: Wherever you may be, however old you are, you reenact your childhood drama with whomever you have handily around. You can cast a colleague in the Daddy Role or a friend in the Mommy Dearest Role. For example, you might purposefully choose a friend who is late to meet you because you had a mother who was always late to pick you up from school, and then when your friend is late, your friend’s tardiness would then trigger an anger response within you that’s stronger than your friend deserves because of your portable childhood reenactment triggers. You’re again pissed off that mother was late – and again you will yell at your friend/mother in hopes of changing this behavior – so you can feel lovable and worthy, because tardiness for you means unlovability and unworthiness.
And so you stop to think about your urges for déjà vu past pain…and that’s when you’re reminded of the love pattern of your past…your pattern for craving pain-bearing paramours!
(NOTE: THE ABOVE IS A FREE SAMPLE OF THE WRITER’S FIRST MANUSCRIPT FOR ENOUGH DAMMIT - FOR MORE TUNE IN TOMORROW - OR CHECK IT OUT MORE HERE….!)
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