Monthly Archive for February, 2010
This poem by Rumi is one of my favorites - and so wanted to share:
Rumi - Guest House
This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Are you right now experiencing DEJA PROBLEMS? Are you enduring repeated disappointment in love, career, friendship, or fitness - or a combo of a few of these?
If so, you’re experiencing “programmed destructive beliefs” - via your subconscious mind.
How do you know for sure? That’s easy. Life is difficult.
As Carl Jung said: “When an inner situation is not made conscious it appears outside as fate.”
Without gaining consciousness into your patterns, you can find yourself going from saying
“I’m having one of those days”
to
“I’m having one of those years”
to
“I’m having one of those lives.”
Today I want to help you change your programmed beliefs, so you can change your life. How?
I’m gonna have you jackhammerdrill down - until you discover your limiting thinking brought to you by your pesky programmed subconscious – then we’re gonna “re-program” your subconscious - turning “destructive beliefs” into“instructive beliefs” - so you’re supported and directed to go where you need to go to live your happiest life!
I call this developing “PAIN-A-RAMIC” vision - where you’re able to stare at the pain in your life with a 360 degree lens - and view the gain in your pain — the lessons learned — turning destructive beliefs into instructive beliefs!
HOW TO DEVELOP ”PAIN-A-RAMIC” VISION:
1. Breathe deeply. Enter a meditative state. Dare to think about your five most painful disappointing life incidents.
2. Become physically aware of how your body feels thinking about these incidents. Do you feel tense in your stomach, neck, head, back? There’s a neuroscientific reason for starting with this physical focus — given to me by neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Goulston. He suggests that to achieve your best stream of consciousness, it helps to start at the lowest spheres of your brain — your animal sphere – then rise up to your emotional — then thirdly head into your neocortex – your highest rational brain processing. This slow but steady upward search for truth is the least scary for people to engage in.
3. Next up… Answer the following questions: “When it comes to (love, success, friendship, money, etc - PICK A TOPIC), I believe that…” “I don’t believe that…” “I blame my bad life results on….” “I fear….”“My childhood taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect….” “Society taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect…” “The media taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect…” “I had a trauma/crisis which taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect….”
4. Put all your worries from step # 3 on trial — cross-examining each DESTRUCTIVE BELIEF like a tough attorney – until you are able to turn it into an INSTRUCTIVE BELIEF.
5. Dispute and discredit your (b)lame excuses from step #3 — by gathering POSITIVE EVIDENCE otherwise — displaying proof of your talents, energy, and willpower to get what you want.
6. Dispute and discredit your “mythaken thinking” from step #3 — by gathering POSITIVE EVIDENCE that the world has supported plenty of others in their dreams – so you’re next up, baby!
7. Dispute and discredit false fears unearthed in step #3 — by gathering lots of CONTRADICTORY EVIDENCE — proving your limited beliefs are just that — limited!
8. Complete the following sentences: “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I learned…” “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I became more….” “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I met ….”
8. Find examples of consistently happy, people who are successful in your topic of disappointment/pain – and spend as much times as possible with them – further shifting your belief system to the highly positive.
I promise that if you bravely jackhammer down and get to the root of your limiting beliefs, you’ll be on your way to living a life you love! And while on your life path, fromhereoin your fears and worries will become a lot they scary — as surely as when Dororthy faced up to Oz, and discovered that little Ozzie was nothin’ much to fear or worry about!
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I was talking with Keith Krach, founder of Ariba and self-made billionaire, about the number one trait for successful leadership.
“Guess this trait,” Keith challenged me.
“Be a visionary? A risk taker? Brave? Tough?”
“No,” Keith said. “Tell you what. Envision someone you feel is a good leader.”
I did: a creative director I worked for at Nickelodeon.
(By the way – you reading this – yes, YOU. Join along and think of a leader you respect.)
“Are you ready?” asked Keith. “This trait is: be FUN.”
Yes, fun. It made sense. Employees are more inspired to be productive when they work in a fun work environment – than in a tough, serious space which operates on fear and stressful internal competition.
Sure enough, my leader from Nickelodeon: fun. Those under-30 billionaires at Google: fun. And Keith? Fun.
(Was your chosen leader fun? Write me and tell me if you want: karen@notsalmon.com)
Two psychological studies at Cornell University support Keith’s theory.
#1. People shown a funny movie were afterwards tested and proven to be more capable of creative flexibility and problem solving than those who shown a serious, dark moviie.
#2. Radiologists who received a small fun present before work, made more accurate diagnoses.
Interestingly a huge premise in Jim Collins’ best selling book GOOD TO GREAT is also that great leaders are fun. According to Collins, leaders at the biggest and best companies were consistently shown to be fun, likeable, humble people – not narcissistic tough tyrants. His theory? Not only were employees more inspired to make a kind, fun boss happy, employees were less afraid to reveal difficulties. As a result this increased communication increased the companies speed at curtailing problems before they spun out of control.
The lesson learned: Create a more fun work environment, and you’ll laugh your way to the bank.
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