Are you right now trying to inspire improved performance in someone – a colleague, employees – or even your partner or kids.
If so, you can kick better butt, if do some “BUT KICKS.”
“BUT KICKS” are actually a proven researched technique from Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) – an esteemed psychological practice shown to improve communication and strengthen relationships.
According to NLP researchers, some words trigger negative subconscious responses.
“BUT” is one of those tiny words with a big impact.
For example…think about what happens if you presently tell people:
“You did a wonderful job with this report… BUT…”
“On the whole your performance was good… BUT…”
Basically, as soon as the recipient hears the “BUT” they immediately decide everything you told them before the “BUT” was unimportant and merely a lead-in to negative criticism.
The “BUT” reverses any positive comments you might have offered.
As a coach, I’ve witnessed experienced corporate managers give helpful advice, only to sabotage the result by adding a “BUT”
Plus, the word “BUT” also has negative effects in romantic and parental relationships as well.
What to do? This week try some “BUT KICKS” – and kick those buts out of your vocabulary.
For the next 7 days replace the “BUT”” with the word “AND.”
Your performance in your job has been good… BUT I’d like you to be more of a team player.
Your performance in your job has been good…. AND I’d like you to be more of a team player.
I like much of what you are saying…. BUT I wonder if we could look at this particular point a bit more.
I like much of what you are saying… AND I wonder if we could look at this particular point a bit more.
However, you don’t have to kick that “BUT” out altogether.
According to NLP researchers, you can use a “BUT” to purposefully over-emphasize a positive alternative.
FOR EXAMPLE, TRY:
That wasn’t your best work ….BUT I know you will do better next time.
We’re certainly facing some tough obstacles… BUT I know you will do a fabulous job and succeed.
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