NOTE: This is a guest blog by the lovely and loving Seona Craig.
Do you remember being at school, as a child and teenager, and it was considered an insult for someone to say… “You Love yourself” …….?
I can recall, saying this as an insult to friends and ‘non-friends’ alike and also having it said to me.
For someone to love themselves was considered to be uncool and arrogant. To love yourself meant “You had tickets on yourself” or you were “up yourself.”
We attempted to knock down those who thought of themselves highly by making it uncool.
In our quest for coolness, we all went out of our way to make sure we weren’t “loving ourselves”…and so putting ourselves down and laughing at our inabilities/looks and intelligence were viewed to be funny and cool.
Taking ‘the piss’ out of ourselves was so much cooler than loving ourselves! Right?…um… no! That’s probably messed with your head, your attitude, your self-belief and self-esteem.
This notion has been programmed into our beliefs and our attitudes, and is probably why we have poor relationships, doubt our abilities, put ourselves down and get depressed.
We need to erase this programming and embrace all that we are and love all that we are.
In Australia particularly, this is part of the Tall Poppy Syndrome – meaning that the tallest flowers in the field should be cut down to the same size as the others. It is a unofficial cultural way of life…but it’s not so much used to cut down the poppy’s that are highly successful, its applied to cut down the poppies that have an air of superiority to others….to keep them real and level headed. We do not tolerate arrogance.
The problem is we need to learn to appreciate the difference between arrogance and self- love. Self-love is so important, it is not arrogance.
If you do not love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to?
We need to love and value all that makes us unique and beautiful. Loving yourself is necessary for a happy life and healthy relationships, to love yourself is not an insult. You will attract better things into your life if you do. The ‘law of attraction’ is particularly powerful when you think of yourself as attractive, not just physically.
What’s wrong with being a tall poppy if you act with humility?
To reprogram this belief system, that loving yourself is self-love and healthy and empowering, affirmations are a great start…. “I love myself completely” “I am awesome and I deserve my own love” “Even though I have flaws and fears, I completely love and accept myself”….
You will never be without love, if you give it to yourself. Give yourself heaps of it and you will feel great.
Try these easy to do exercises:
1. Identify all your strengths, unique traits and abilities. Write them down. Keep them somewhere you can look at them any time you need a boost of self-love
2. Look into the mirror every night, before bed and smile and say “I love you” – try it for 30 days straight and see what changes for the better in your life! (slightly confronting at first, but will become easier and more believable as the days pass). ·
3. Place your hand on your heart and send yourself unconditional love.
Before you know it, you will be madly, deeply in love….with you! Now that’s cool!