How To Get Over Someone (A Tool From Sitcoms)
I’m writing this essay today because I received an interesting email from a woman. She writes….
I have been with a Prince Harming for 4 years. I’m trying to break away now. It should be easy – because he abandons me all the time – and disappears as easy as pie! I always go looking for him. And I find him – and the cycle begins.
I’m so emotionally entwined with him. I get that I’m in love with who I WANTED him to be – but how can I more deeply see him for who he really he is – and get over it? All of my friends see it.
Firstly this woman is not a dumbass. She’s simply someone who’s having trouble with her “Act 3.”
Let me explain. For a few years I lived in L.A. writing sitcoms. I sold original concepts for funny TV shows to the networks (NBC, FOX, MTV) – mostly around the topic of the dangers and dysfunctions of love.
Although I was writing funny sitcoms, the plot still had to be realistic, logical, believable.
I pretty much breezed through writing Act 1 and Act 2 – because they were about describing the problem.
In fact, in Acts 1 and 2, the characters themselves could even know they had problems to solve – but they simply weren’t able to make positive change happen.
Act 3 was really where all the main action took place – because it was where The Ultimate Big Change had to occur.
I always struggled writing Act 3 because I had to come up with a plot point – a life-changing tool or event – something amazing which might happen – to inspire the character to finally change their stupid ways.
Although I no longer write sitcoms for a living – I still struggle with Act 3’s – the ones in my own life.
I often know I have a problem to solve – but as far as coming up with the CLUNK on my head which gets me to finally stop my silly ways – well, that’s a hard act to create – and follow.
I know I’m not alone. In fact, this is why I received the email from the woman who claims she is a dumbass – which she is NOT.
As mentioned earlier, she is simply stuck in Act 3. She needs to get that powerful CLUNK on the head – that will finally motivate her to see her toxic guy in all his Prince Harming-ness – then she needs to summon up the courage to walk away.
I see this all the time. People stuck in their Act 3’s. Maybe you relate?
So here’s a powerful tool for creating a successful Act 3 denouement – to get over someone you need to get over. I’ve used this tool myself – and it even helped me to get over a King Harming!
THE LOVE TOOL:
Write up a description of your Toxic Partner – as if someone’s going to set you up with them on a blind date. BUT – instead of listing all their awesome qualities – list all their crazy-making qualities- so you’re basically writing a description of “The Blind Date From Hell.” But the key is to write it up sarcastically – as if all these terrible traits are something terrific. I’ll go first. Here’s an example.
“Hey Karen, I’ve got a guy I want you to meet. He’s an amazing liar – one of the best liars I’ve ever met! He’s also a courageous liar. He will introduce you to the other women he’s sleeping with – while claiming to be monogamous with you. Doesn’t he sound great? But wait – there’s more! When you’re going through something really tough – he’ll completely abandon you! So — can I fix you up? What do you say?”
After reading this description, would I ever want to meet and be with this guy? No way!
Now it’s your turn. Create a “Write From Wrong List.”
List all the toxic qualities of the someone you want to break free from. And make sure you ONLY list their toxic qualities – their BEST toxic qualities. Write it all up with loads of sarcasm – as if you’re excitedly detailing terrific qualities. Then read it back to yourself – as many times as you need to – until you make the big CLUNK of a point to yourself – that THIS person is NOT someone you should want to be with!
Hopefully this “Blind Date Tool” will become an “I Can Finally See Tool.” It will not only make you laugh – but make you finally fully see your toxic partner for the truly toxic person they are – so you can finally leave the struggles of Act 2 behind you – and enjoy a far happier Act 3!
Get tools to say “never again” to toxic love – with The Never Again Program – a life-changing online home course – you can do on any computer or idevice – at your own pace. I will help you to let go of your anger and regret (at your ex and yourself) and develop new ways of thinking and dating – which will lead you to true love with a safe-feeling, good partner. Love patterns can be broken – with the help of my Never Again Program – now discounted for a limited time only!
Share your own “Blind Date From Hell” description!