Self-loving Ways to Lose Weight

POSTER HATE LOSS DO ITConfession time: I used to be a stress eater – until I did some research as to why – then lost 20 pounds in about 3 months – and kept the weight off for 3 years and counting.

One of the interesting insights I found: Often over-eating is  a way to punish yourself  – for the anger and resentment you’re feeling – either at yourself – or someone else.

In fact there’s been a lot of research which supports how anger is at the root of many addictions – as far ranging as food, drug, alcohol and shopping addictions. Addicts seek these vices to avoid feeling the pain of past resentments. Their anger becomes a boomerang —or what I call a “boomeranger” —because their unwanted negative emotions come back to whack them with an addiction.

ways to lose weightThe University of Wisconsin did a recent research study, comparing “Forgiveness Therapy” versus routine “Traditional Drug/Alcohol Therapy.” They showed “Forgiveness Therapy” helped to relieve the anger behind substance abuse even more successfully than routine drug/alcohol therapy.

Plus, not only did subjects display faster success, but created less recidivism.  Meaning? They didn’t return to their addictions! They stayed addiction-free!

After I read this study (and further research) I decided to go on “A Hate Loss Plan” as part of my “Weight Loss Plan.” 

poster gain lose do it

In other words, I realized that whenever I was pigging out on a big bag of Cheese Doodles,  I was really pigging out on a bag of “I Hate Me Doodles” or a bag of “I Hate That This Challenge/Adversity/Rejection Has Happened To Me Doodles.”

I recognized that I needed to re-train my brain to stop eating like I wanted to punish myself – or punish someone else. I needed to re-learn how to eat like I loved myself – and want to nourish and support myself.

As soon as I developed healthier ways to deal with my anger, regret, resentment, worry –  sure enough I released the pull I felt towards food.

Presently it’s now instinctual for me to choose to eat like I love myself – instead of eating like I wanted to punish myself. Plus I’ve not only lost weight, I’ve lost the anger and anxiety I was feeling. I feel happier and calmer within.

Can you relate to any of this? Even if you’re not over-eating specifically as “punishment,” chances are you’re doing it to avoid being fully present with yourself – and unwanted feelings.

ways to lose weightAlthough you might think you’re over-eating for fun entertainment – or as an attempt to comfort yourself – there are healthier ways to have fun and get comforted.

Chances are you’re using over-eating as a way to escape yourself. It’s an attempt not to feel or think about what you really need to feel and face.

You’re in “fight and flight mode.” Or what I jokingly call “flight and bite.”

Basically, over-eating is about avoiding a needed loving conversation with yourself –  and thereby avoiding honoring your truest feelings and truest thoughts.

If you want to live your happiest life – true to who you are – true to what you need – then you have to stop pigging out and start listening up!

This is why I developed The Do It Program – a life-changing online home course – you can do at your own pace.  You’ll not only lose weight, you’ll gain self-love, gain calm, gain confidence – and gain lots of positive energy to go towards what I call your “Grand Quest” – an exciting passion/mission.

Click to find out more about these life-changing tools! Already thousands of people have used these tools to stop stress eating – for good! I’d love for you to be my next success story!

TWEET THIS NOW: Self-loving ways to lose weight @notsalmon

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    The Paradox of Self Help by Chris Butler

    paradox of self helpThis guest essay is by the inspiring Chris Butler.

    This may come off as a little brash, and maybe not even “positive”, but what the hell…

    In every industry I’ve ever been involved with, people are always looking to compete. I’m not talking about the healthy type of competition that helps you become a better you, but rather the type of competition that creates an ugly environment where no one really ends up feeling good about work created except their own. Apparently, nobody likes to be beat out of a job — I get that. Security is in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and in this sense, it comes in the form of money.

    Legit.

    But my most recent venture, where I thought I would enter into a utopian atmosphere where this no longer exists, has been nothing short of shocking to find the same type of environment.

    I’ve barely dipped my toes into the field of self-development (as a passionate student, not a teacher, mind you) and am tripping over words and actions being directly and indirectly spewed around every corner. It’s always “My work is better than ____’s because ___.”, or “I was doing this way before ____.” or “I’m the thought leader of ___ ” — as if by staking these flags of superiority, their work should be accepted as the supreme version of said topic, not to be outdone by someone who may have a different approach in the same field.

    First, it’s clear that no one has TRULY created anything but a certain combination of realistic possibilities put together by the quantum. As the saying goes, if you want to make your own apple pie, you’ve first got to invent the Universe.

    So why is there a need to feel threatened by the work of someone else if what they create is not a direct infringement of your own time invested? Everyone deserves a chance to show and share their blessings, right?

    paradox of self help

    I like to understand business, and see where this could all make sense. But in the field of self development, this doesn’t make sense.

    Why?

    Because we’re taught (and try to teach) how to identify, release, and focus. To identify negative behaviors. To release ego. To release attachment. To focus on the moment. To focus on loving ourselves to be able to serve others. To focus on abundance. To focus on the things we love. To focus on the people we love. To focus on love, and focus that love-light into every corner of stark, dark hate.

    Many people come into this field through their own personal journey of transformation. They see a possibility to help others as they’ve helped themselves. This is authentic. Many people also come into this field because, well, let’s face it – they see a business opportunity from people who want to be better than they were before. If most people weren’t willing to spend time or money on improving themselves, it wouldn’t have boomed into the multi-billion dollar industry we see today.

    But why do folks only see the potential for success as one economic pie, that their slice becomes smaller with each person who enters “the market”? Is the feeling of lack so strong among these “teachers of abundance” that they must suppress the voices that rise?

    This is the paradox of  self help.

    So what do we do? Practice “Ocean-Fish Thinking”

    Potential for success is like a body of water. We are all fish swimming in that water, but which body of water we decide to swim in is up to us.

    We can decide to swim in a pond, where there is a limited supply of oxygen, food, and space; and in this “pond”, the bigger fish will hoard resources purely based on the instinct of survival. The lack mindset takes over and makes us fearful of losing something.    paradox of self help

    OR

    We can decide to swim freely in an ocean. Here, the circle of life continues to flow naturally and there is abundance available for everyone who decides to keep swimming. There’s no need to feel lack in this open space.

    Our lives are the same. There are 7 billion people on this planet, many who want to improve themselves and are willing to pay for it. 10, 100, 1,000, or even 100,000 people who come to one person is a speck of the unlimited abundance available to you – IF you choose to see that unlimited abundance.

    It’s time for us all to focus on abundance. Not just for ourselves, but a fertile environment where there are all passionate people who can grow and spread their positive thoughts and ideas. Release the ego that says you have to be superior.

    Remember your unique power, and why it’s important to unify it.

    There is enough room for us all to be passionate about what we do, and deliver that in our “own unique way”. In this field, the “unique energy” you put into something directly affects the energy you receive in return, in whatever form it may come (because we’re not supposed to be attached to a specific outcome, right?) Make no mistake that success in this field will only be permanent if your passion is authentic and practiced with confidence. Hiding behind a veil only lasts so long, hence the reason for many streaking comets of inspiration here one moment and gone the next.

    It’s also important to remember that you are one in spreading light with every other messenger, regardless of how bright your beam is compared to theirs. Do you think that if Jesus, Buddha, and all the other “deities” came together, that they would simply participate in a holy royal rumble to determine who is most holy? I don’t think so. If anything, they would work together to deliver a holy message.

    The same goes for all of us. You are a servant. Identify the reasons you came into this field and try to help the people in need of that. The ideals contained in the positive messages we deliver do not deserve to be sabotaged by primal thought patterns based on survival and security, but rather understood and suppparadox of self helported for their mission in making the world a better place.

    In this field, maybe the phrase “practice what you preach” should be hung above the doorway of every person involved; for if we dim our own light by casting a shadow over others, we only add to the darkness.

    Live your intention.

    This was a guest blog essay written by the inspiring Chris Butler.

    TWEET THIS NOW: The Paradox of Self Help by Chris Butler – a guest essay via @notsalmon

    Love to hear your thought below – what comes to mind and heart when you read about the paradox of self help?

    CONTINUE READING

      How To Get Over Someone (A Tool From Sitcoms)

      How To Get Over Someone

      I’m writing this essay today because I received an interesting email from a woman. She writes….

      Dear Karen, 

      I have been with a Prince Harming for 4 years. I’m trying to break away now. It should be easy – because he abandons me all the time – and disappears as easy as pie! I always go looking for him. And I find him – and the cycle begins.

      I’m so emotionally entwined with him. I get that I’m in love with who I WANTED him to be – but how can I more deeply see him for who he really he is – and get over it? All of my friends see it.

      Sincerely,
      A dumbass

      Firstly this woman is not a dumbass. She’s simply someone who’s having trouble with her “Act 3.”

      Let me explain. For a few years I lived in L.A. writing sitcoms. I sold original concepts for funny TV shows to the networks (NBC, FOX, MTV) –  mostly around the topic of the dangers and dysfunctions of love.

      I pitched and sold one show called: “He Said, She Corrected Him.” The show was about a depressed, cynical divorce lawyer (woman) who shared an office with (then began to date) an upbeat, romantic marriage counselor (man). The theme: the battle of cynicism versus romanticism. The show covered a wide range storylines – not only about the lawyer and marriage counselor – but also about the various clients who were either choosing to divorce or trying to repair their relationship.

      How To Get Over Someone I loved writing sitcoms – but I found I always struggled with the third act – where the characters were supposed to learn something – then change for the better.

      Although I was writing funny sitcoms, the plot still had to be realistic, logical, believable.

      I pretty much breezed through writing Act 1 and Act 2 – because they were about describing the problem.

      In fact, in Acts 1 and 2, the characters themselves could even know they had problems to solve – but they simply weren’t able to make positive change happen.

      Act 3 was really where all the main action took place – because it was where The Ultimate Big Change had to occur.

      I always struggled writing Act 3 because I had to come up with a plot point – a life-changing tool or event – something amazing which might happen – to inspire the character to finally change their stupid ways.

      Although I no longer write sitcoms for a living – I still struggle with Act 3’s  – the ones in my own life.

      How To Get Over Someone I often know I have a problem to solve – but as far as coming up with the CLUNK on my head which gets me to finally stop my silly ways – well, that’s a hard act to create – and follow.

      I know I’m not alone.  In fact, this is why I received the email from the woman who claims she is a dumbass –  which she is NOT.

      As mentioned earlier, she is simply stuck in Act 3. She needs to get that powerful CLUNK on the head – that will finally motivate her to see her toxic guy in all his Prince Harming-ness – then she needs to summon up the courage to walk away.

      I see this all the time. People stuck in their Act 3’s.  Maybe you relate?

      So here’s a powerful tool for creating a successful Act 3 denouement – to get over someone you need to get over. I’ve used this tool myself – and it even helped me to get over a King Harming!

      THE LOVE TOOL:

      Write up a description of your Toxic Partner – as if someone’s going to set you up with them on a blind date. BUT – instead of listing all their awesome qualities – list all their crazy-making qualities- so you’re basically writing a description of “The Blind Date From Hell.” But the key is to write it up sarcastically – as if all these terrible traits are something terrific. I’ll go first. Here’s an example.

      “Hey Karen, I’ve got a guy I want you to meet. He’s an amazing liar – one of the best liars I’ve ever met! He’s also a courageous liar. He will introduce you to the other women he’s sleeping with – while claiming to be monogamous with you.  Plus – he has true moxie. So much so, he is having an affair with his ex-wife’s ex-therapist. And this therapist has moxie too. She calls him at midnight to talk! Doesn’t he sound great? But wait – there’s more! When you’re going through something really tough – he’ll completely abandon you! So — can I fix you up? What do you say?”

      After reading this description, would I ever want to meet and be with this guy? No way!

      Now it’s your turn.  Create a “Write From Wrong List.”

      How To Get Over Someone List all the toxic qualities of the someone you want to break free from. And make sure you ONLY list their toxic qualities – their BEST toxic qualities. Write it all up with loads of sarcasm – as if you’re excitedly detailing terrific qualities. Then read it back to yourself – as many times as you need to – until you make the big CLUNK of a point to yourself – that THIS person is NOT someone you should want to be with!

      Hopefully this “Blind Date Tool” will become an “I Can Finally See Tool.”  It will not only make you laugh – but make you finally fully see your toxic partner for the truly toxic person they are – so you can finally leave the struggles of Act 2 behind you – and enjoy a far happier Act 3!

      Get tools to say “never again” to toxic love – with The Never Again Program – a life-changing online home course –  you can do on any computer or idevice – at your own pace. I will help you to let go of your anger and regret (at your ex and yourself) and develop new ways of thinking and dating – which will lead you to true love with a safe-feeling, good partner. Love patterns can be broken – with the help of my Never Again Program – now discounted for a limited time only!

      TWEET THIS NOW: How To Get Over Someone – Inspired By Sitcom Writing via @notsalmon

      Share your own “Blind Date From Hell” description!

      CONTINUE READING

        Looking for Love in All The Wrong Places?

        Looking for love in all the wrong places? Here’s a quick love tip (only 30 second long!) – with a powerful reminder – that can last a lifetime – and improve your lifetime.  (Click here if you’re in deep heartache, and need extra tools and support to move on to find happy love.)  Remember: Finding your soulmate doesn’t have to be frustrating and painful.  It’s time to end your pattern of feeling fooled, disappointed, hurt and alone – so you can finally find and keep true love.

        TWEET THIS NOW: Looking for love in all the wrong places? Here’s a love tip! @notsalmon

        If you’ve been looking for love in the sexiest but wrongest places, the time has come to get tools and support – with my Never Again Program – a life-changing online course – you can do at your own pace. Click to find out more – and hurry – because there’s a discount – for a limited time only!

        looking for loveKnow this now: The time has come to stop wasting your heart and time in anger and obsession – re-living the pain of relationships past.

        The time has come to put your love and time into learning from your mistakes –  so you can successfully find a partner who is far more right for you!  Click now!

        Love to hear from you below!

        Please share any helpful lesson learned from a challenging love relationship!

         

         

        CONTINUE READING

          11 Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

          If you’ve suffered the pain of a broken heart, here are 11 inspirational quotes –  to cheer you up – and cheer you onward.

          If you need more support, check out The Never Again Program – a life-changing online program.  

          Know this now: The time has come to stop wasting your heart and time in anger and obsession – re-living the pain of relationships past. The time has come to put your love and time into learning from your mistakes –  so you can successfully find a partner who is far more right for you!

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

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          Inspirational Quotes To Heal A Broken Heart

          If you’ve suffered the pain of toxic love, I’d love to give you tools to let go of the hurt – and develop new ways of thinking and dating – which will lead you to true love with a good partner. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – you can enjoy on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience.  Finding your soulmate doesn’t have to be frustrating and painful.  I will give you tools to end your pattern of feeling fooled, disappointed, hurt and alone – so you can finally find and keep true love. Click now!

          I’d love to hear how you have healed and moved on from toxic love relationships!  Share your personal story or a personal happiness tool! I LOVE it when you share – because I love to find out about my community! Plus, many thousands of peeps read these inspirational essays – so, what you share could be a helpful inspiration for someone else! xo Karen

          CONTINUE READING

            12 Ways To Feel Instantly Happier (3 short, fun videos)

            We all have our challenging days. (And even our challenging weeks, months, years and decades!) I’ve written many books about how to bounce back from challenging times. But sometimes you’re just in a funk – and need a quickie happiness booster – to make it through your day.

            With this in mind, I’ve put together a range of quick, inspiring tools –  shared within these 3 short, fun videos. Personally, I know how hard it is to find free time in today’s uber-busy, espresso-chugging, hyper-active world. So all these tools are ones you can do within a mere few minutes – to boost your mood.

            After you watch these videos, I’d love to hear from you below! Which of these 12 “instant happy” tools are you most likely to start doing regularly?

            3 1/2 Ways To Feel Instantly Happier

            4 1/2 Tools to Help You Feel Instantly Happy

            4 Ways To Feel Instantly Happy

            Love to hear from you below! What are your favorite go-to-tools for boosting your happiness when you’re feeling depressed – methods which help you to feel positive, strong and motivated – no matter what your challenges?

            Click here to subscribe to NotsalmonTV for more inspiring videos! 

            If you’re seeking more instant happy tools, check out my INSTANT HAPPY BOOK! Just click here!

            CONTINUE READING

              Signs You’re Dating A Psychopath

               

              What are the signs you’re dating a psychopath? In this short video I share helpful clues to be on the look-out for! I confess I’ve had my share of Prince Harmings. (I even had one King Harming! Don’t get me started on that story!)  I used to joke that for me, all dating should be named “blind dating” – and instead of saying I was “seeing someone,” I should say “I’m dimly seeing someone.”

              I personally know how difficult it can be to pick yourself up after a painful romantic fall.

              I also know that you’re never too old to find and keep happily ever after love! I found my amazing mate when I was in my 40’s! We’ve been in a happy, committed relationship for over 5 years – raising an adorable son together!

              I’m on a mission to help as many people as I can to break their bad love patterns – for good! If you’re ready to find happy, safe-feeling love, check out my Never Again Program –  a life-changing online course – you can do at your own pace and convenience – on any kind of computer or idevice! Finding your soulmate doesn’t have to be frustrating and painful.I’ll give you the tools, courage and support you need – to finally end your pattern of feeling fooled, disappointed, hurt and alone – so you can find (and keep) the happy love you’re seeking. Click here now for info!

              TWEET THIS NOW: Signs you’re dating a psychopath @notsalmon

              Love to hear from you below! What have been some signs you’ve been dating a psychopath? How did you finally break free?

              CONTINUE READING

                Best Selling Author • Over 1 million books Sold • Oprah Columnist • Brand Consultant • Motivational Speaker • Proud Mommy

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