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If you’re feeling blue, remember…

feeling blueIf you’re feeling blue, remember…

TWEET THIS NOW: Why feel blue when there are so many other colors you can feel! via @notsalmon 

Get tools to heal and move on from toxic love – and develop new ways of thinking and dating. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – for both men and women – young and older – single or divorced -or presently in a toxic relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety of toxic love – plus- I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s – and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting.  Plus these research proven tools have helped many thousands to find happy, safe-feeling relationships!  I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

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    How to change the direction of your life…

     

    change the direction of your life

    Want to change the direction of your life?  Change your thoughts, beliefs and attitude!

    TWEET THIS NOW: Your thoughts, beliefs and attitude all determine your direction! @notsalmon

    Love shouldn’t hurt – it should support and inspire.   Get tools to move on from painful love relationships  – and develop new ways of thinking and dating. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online course – for both men and women – single or divorced -or presently in an unhappy relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety of toxic love – plus- I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s – and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting.  Plus these research proven tools have helped many thousands to find happy, safe-feeling relationships!  I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

    CONTINUE READING

      Loving someone hard to love?

      loving someone hard to love

      Loving someone hard to love? Unfortunately those who are hard to love often need love the most.

      Confused if you should break up? Need tools, insight, support and courage to do the right thing about a challenging love relationship? Check out THE NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – for both men and women – young and older – single or divorced -or presently in an unhappy relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety of toxic love – plus- I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s – and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting.  Plus these research proven tools have helped many thousands to find happy, safe-feeling relationships!  I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

      TWEET THIS NOW: Unfortunately those who are hard to love often need love the most. via @notsalmon

      CONTINUE READING

        Warning! Perfectionism can be a form of self-abuse!

        perfectionism

        TWEET THIS NOW: Warning! Perfectionism can be a form of self-abuse!

        Get tools to heal and move on from toxic love – and develop new ways of thinking and dating. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – for both men and women – young and older – single or divorced -or presently in a toxic relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety of toxic love – plus- I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s – and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting.  Plus these research proven tools have helped many thousands to find happy, safe-feeling relationships!  I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

        CONTINUE READING

          Why And How Not To Yell At Your Child

          how not to yell at your child

          I gotta tell you…

          I love my son, but sometimes he drives me crazy.

          Particularly at bed time.

          It becomes bad time.

          The problem isn’t putting him to bed. It’s keeping him there.

          He comes up with a wild array of excuses to stay awake – calling them out from his room.

          “Mom, I want some water.”

          “Mom, my blanket fell off.”

          “Mom, I want to give you another good night kiss.”

          “Mom, how many days till Friday?”

          “Mom, remember that time I called it the ‘Statue of Delivery’?”

          The first couple of things he calls out can (admittedly) be cute. But after he’s reached his 29th rambling (no exaggeration), that’s when the driving-me-crazy kicks in.

          I’ve tried everything.  Reasoning with him. (“You’ll be tired tomorrow.”) Bribing him. (“I’ll get you that app you want.”) Threatening him. (“I won’t get you that app you want.”)  Joking with him. ( “Warning! Warning! Mommy’s going to yell. Please no more words.”)(Note: I made up this phrase “Please no more words!” so I don’t simply blurt “Shut up!”)

          When none of this works, I become tempted to yell.

          Uchhh. I hate yelling. I often cry after I yell at Ari – because I remember how much I hated being yelled at by my mom as a kid – and I vowed I wouldn’t yell at my kids.

          So the other night Ari reached his 39th rambling – and I reached my breaking point.

          I yelled.

          Ari had the strangest reaction. He looked at me –  calmly  – and said, “Mom, please don’t yell. Yelling is not going to make me want to go to sleep. In fact it will do the opposite. It will make me want to stay up even later – because it just makes me really mad at you.”

          I was startled by his logical response. And at a loss for what I could possibly say or do to motivate Ari to go to sleep – if even yelling didn’t work.

          I sighed. Loudly.

          “Ari,” I said, “Help me. Please. What can I possibly say or do which will make you go to sleep?”

          He paused, then replied, “Hug me.”

          “What?”

          “Just hug me.  Hugging me will make me want to listen to you.”

          “Hug you?”

          “Yes, hugging me will work. Yelling won’t.”

          As a self help author I could understand (psychologically and neurologically) why hugging might work. But as a mommy I was skeptical.

          What the heck. I leaned down and gave him a really big hug. He hugged me back.

          And then – like a miracle – he went to sleep.

          Ever since then, now when he won’t go to sleep, I jokingly tell him, “Please don’t make me come in there and hug you – cause I will – I will come in there and hug you – really hard!”

          And if he still isn’t quiet, then sure enough I go into his room and give him a big hug.

          Admittedly he doesn’t always go to sleep with the first hug. But usually by the third hug he’s settled down and ready for sleep.

          I gotta tell you… this hugging thing is a terrific strategy – not only for kids – but for connecting with and inspiring positive responses with your partner and friends too.

          As a self help author I can understand why. Here’s a few reasons…

          1. Activates Oxytocin
          Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that influences the limbic system – your brain’s emotional center. It reduces stress, makes you feel happier – and even inspires mammals to want to be more loyal and monogamous.  More frequent hugs and higher oxytocin levels are linked to lower blood pressure and heart rate. So when I hug my son – it calms him – readying him for sleep. Plus it reconnects him to me – perhaps reawakening his loyalty to me – perhaps thereby re-inspiring him to want to make me happy – and do as I suggest: go to sleep.

          2. Gets your Dopamine Going
          Low Dopamine levels have been linked with depression, lack of enthusiasm and all kinds of mood disorders, mental illnesses – even Parkinson’s (a neurodegenerative disease).  Happily, hugging is reported to increase Dopamine – thereby increasing that “feel-good feeling” – as well as feelings of motivation and enthusiasm. So when I hug my son,  perhaps that revs up his motivational energies – thereby he tries a little harder at going to sleep.

          3. Babies who are hugged a lot become adults who don’t stress as much

          An Emory U study in rats found a link between touch and relieving stress, particularly in the early stages of life. Researchers surmised that the same applies to people – citing that babies’ development –  including how they cope with stress as adults — depends on a combo of nature and nurture. So when I hug my son, I not only relieve his stress to calm him for sleep – I help set him up to become an adult who won’t stress as much later on in life.

          So next time you’re angry and tempted to reach out and strangle someone, reach out and hug them instead.

          TWEET THIS NOW: Why and how not to yell at your child via @notsalmon

          Love to hear your thoughts on why and how not to yell at your child below in the comment area!

          “I GOTTA TELL YOU” is a short essay series by Karen Salmansohn. Sign up here to receive more essays.

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            An Inspiring Story About Limiting Beliefs

            limiting beliefs

            Here’s an inspiring story about limiting beliefs – excerpted from my best selling book, “How To Be Happy Dammit.”

            I call it, “The elephant truly NEVER forgets.”

            The first trick an elephant trainer trains an elephant to do is not to escape.

            When the elephant is still but a baby, the trainer chains the infant’s leg to a huge log, so when/if the elephant tries to escape, the log proves stronger, and he gives up.

            Eventually the elephant becomes so used to its captivity, that even when it has grown huge and strong, all the trainer merely has to do is tie the chain around the elephant’s leg to anything — even a tiny little twig — and the elephant won’t even try to escape.

            It has become a prisoner of its past. It has become a prisoner of its limiting beliefs.

            This elephant and its twig are a lot like you and the pain, struggles, challenges and limitations of your past. Nothing in your past is in your present now – except your limiting beliefs. You are not your past history. You are not your past actions. You are not how others have treated you in the past. You are only who you think you are in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.

            It’s time to step away from your twigs.

            ***

            Don’t allow the pain of toxic love to stop you from appreciating the joys of life. Get tools to let go of the hurt – and develop new ways of thinking and dating – which will lead you to true love with a good partner. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – for both men and women – young and older – single or divorced -or presently in a toxic relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM anywhere in the world –on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column on their site!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety which comes from being in a toxic relationship – and I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting. I designed this program from my heart – because I’m passionate about helping people find happy, safe-feeling relationships! I know these tools work! I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

            CONTINUE READING

              A Story To Inspire You To Overcome Fear

              overcome fearFor many reasons, fear should be re-named “inter-fear” – because it is constantly interfering with your getting what you want in life. Here’s a quick symbolic fable on this subject, excerpted from my best selling book, “How To Be Happy Dammit.”

              DOPE ON A ROPE

              There once was this criminal who had committed a crime. (Because, hey, that’s what criminals do. That’s their job!) Anyway, he was sent to the king for his punishment. The king told him he had a choice of two punishments. He could be hung by a rope or take what’s behind the big, dark, scary, iron door. The criminal quickly decided on the rope. As the noose was being slipped on him, he turned to the king and asked. “By the way, out of curiosity, what’s behind that door?” The king laughed and said: “You know, it’s funny, I offer everyone the same choice, and nearly everyone picks the rope.” “So,” said the criminal, “Tell me. What’s behind the door? I mean, obviously, I won’t tell anyone,” he said, pointing to the noose around his neck. The king paused then answered, “Freedom, but it seems most people are so afraid of the unknown that they immediately take the rope.”

              I love the message in this story. It’s a powerful reminder about how so many of us cling to the familiar. Yes, unfortunately, too many of us live our lives choosing the familiarity of our rope (aka: familiar pain, familiar struggle, familiar patterns), fearful of going for the unknown alternative – which can lead to freedom and ultimate happiness.

              Alan Watts, said it well when he said:“Our lives are one long effort to resist the unknown.”

              The result? We’re a planet full of folks walking around with metaphysical ropes around our necks, wondering why we feel a bit emotionally/ spiritually dead to the world around us.

              Today decide to have the courage to push past your fears! Today decide to finally take off those ropes that bind you – and blind you! Start bravely opening up those doors which lead to the unfamiliar – knowing that you are also headed towards freedom, growth, and greater joy. You’ll see.

              Don’t allow the pain of toxic love to stop you from appreciating the joys of life. Get tools to let go of the hurt – and develop new ways of thinking and dating – which will lead you to true love with a good partner. Love patterns can be broken with the help of my NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM – now discounted – for a limited time only. The NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM is an inspiring online webinar – for both men and women – young and older – single or divorced -or presently in a toxic relationship and confused! You can listen to or watch the NEVER AGAIN PROGRAM anywhere in the world –on any kind of computer – or idevice – at your own pace and convenience. My results-proven tools were loved so much by the folks at OPRAH that they asked me to write a love advice column on their site!  I created this program because I know first hand (and first heart ) the pain and anxiety which comes from being in a toxic relationship – and I also know how to break bad love patterns for good. I found my sweetie in my 40’s and we’ve been happily together for about 5 years and counting. I designed this program from my heart – because I’m passionate about helping people find happy, safe-feeling relationships! I know these tools work! I’d love to help you believe in happy love again – and find it. Click now! Toxic love stops here. Happy relationships start now!

              CONTINUE READING

                Best Selling Author • Over 1 million books Sold • Oprah Columnist • Brand Consultant • Motivational Speaker • Proud Mommy

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