Do you keep threatening to pursue your truest passions – but can’t seem to find the time, energy and courage to motivate?

I relate. Truly! I wasn’t always a full-time writer. Over a decade ago I was a Sr. Vice President Creative Director in advertising, who was always threatening to quit my high-paying, high-stressing, low-free-time job to pursue my passion for writing.

But I was like the girl who cried wolf. Always saying I was gonna quit—but not doing it.

Admittedly there was a huge part of me that was afraid.

Not just about the money angle. I was afraid to let go of a lovely fantasy about a parallel universe in which I existed as “Happy-Go-Lucky Author Girl.”

I was afraid to potentially risk giving up this fantasy – in case my fantasy didn’t come true.

Chogyam Trungpa wrote: “True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; but going BEYOND fear…by fear-less we don’t mean ‘less fear’ but ‘beyond fear.’”

I knew I needed to get to this beyond-fear place. Here’s how I did did my fear busting.

You know how it’s easier to walk a plank that’s on solid ground, instead of one that’s plunked above an alligator-infested lagoon — because the fear of those yapping hungry alligators makes you less focused on what you desire?

The same is true with your career. You must avoid staring at your metaphorical-alligators, and instead stay focused on your supporting plank, which in careerland is composed of two strong fibers:

(1) Your confidence — what you know you have going for you

(2) Your passion — what know you really want

When I finally did quit my ad career, it was because I finally stopped staring at my metaphorical-alligators – which for me were:

“I’ll never be a published book author! Heck, I’ve never even written one itty bitty magazine piece! Geez, what will I do for income if I fail – afterall, I have a child to support… MYSELF!”

Instead I focused on my supporting plank:

my confidence (in my writing-skills, discipline, persistence, resilience, optimism, meeting people, learning quickly, following-through) and my passion (my excitement to be a writer in a BIGtime way!)

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

If you’re stuck in a job you hate it’s probably because you’re staring at your metaphorical-alligators. Today re-focus on your supporting plank. Make a list of your areas of high self esteem and reasons for high passion. Whenever fear strikes, strike back with these lists!

A wise woman and her young disciple were walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an angry man in a carriage drove haphazardly by the two, insensitively pushing the woman out of his way. She landed in a ditch filled with muddy water. The woman yelled after the man in the carriage, “May you have everything you want!” The disciple, surprised by the wise woman’s response, said: “I’m confused. Why did you say that to a man with such horrible behavior?” The woman replied, “Because a happy man wouldn’t have thoughtlessly pushed a woman into a ditch.”

Do you agree with this woman’s response? In my book The Bounce Back Book, I offer empowering strategies for embracing forgiveness and liberating yourself from anger and bitterness—even in the most challenging situations.

Here are 8 strategies to free you from your resentments starting today!

1. Say a Prayer
Whenever angry feelings about a person who’s harmed you enter your mind, tell yourself: “We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost.” Pray for this person to find their way back to a happier place—in the same way the woman in this story prayed for her offender.

2. Focus on Gratitude
Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out. If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride! Happiness must always be an inside joy! Whenever you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate. It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.

FOR THE REST OF THE TIPS…check out the full article up on OPRAH.COM by clicking this line right here, right now!

For more about THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK (praised by Anthony Robbins!) click this line, right here, RIGHT NOW!

(NOTE: The following is an excerpt from my newest Huffingtonpost article — which you can read fully HERE!)

True story: Lately I have been finding myself cutting down on the massive amounts of coffee I love to drink, not for health reasons, but for time management reasons. These days, I often go from one conference call to another, then head from one meeting to another, to writing one thing or another — and so I literally barely have time to hit the restroom — let alone rest.

It seems every morning I wake up to face a list of 20 things to do, with time only to do 10, and somehow I always wind up squishing in 30.

In The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, author Sogyal Rinpoche describes a Western tendency he calls “active laziness”: the need to compulsively cram your life with a myriad of unimportant activities, leaving little time to confront what really matters. He jokingly renames the petty projects called “responsibilities” as “irresponsiblities.“

What Rinpoche describes is reminiscent of what author Milan Kundera philosophized about in his book Slowness, a slender volume I ironically sped through in a night. Kundera explains how we live in a highly sped-up culture, and that our need for speed promotes forgetting. For example: If you want to forget something, you will pick up speed walking down the street. If you want to remember something, you’ll slow down your steps.

Kundera warns how speeding up your life not only keeps you from remembering daily details (“Oops! Forgot to pick up more milk!”) but also keeps you forgetful about your overall life values and how to live your most passion-filled, love-filled, growth-filled, fun-filled life.

Meaning? The next time you find yourself racing quickly down the street, know that you’re not only running to your next appointment, you are literally running from contact with your truest feelings, deepest needs and most valuable insights.

With all this in mind… I offer some HELPFUL and thereby HEALTHFUL tips on HUFFINGTONPOST — for not only saving time but enjoying your life more, dammit! Read ‘em by clicking RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

“Things usually work out in the end.”

“What if they don’t?”

“That just means you haven’t come to the end yet.”

— Jeannette Walls (The Glass Castle)

What do you think is sexy? Do you think the definition of sexy has changed throughout the years? Do you think being sexy changes as you get up in years?

In my new OPRAH.com article, I share insights on the BANNED sexy Lane Bryant commercial — and what I feel the underlying definition of SEXY is!

Check out this sexy article out by clicking this line, right here, right NOW!

(Note: the following is an excerpt from my new OPRAH article – which you can read in its entirety by clicking here!)

The word shiva has two different meanings—in two entirely different cultures—yet the meanings share the same underlying message. In Hinduism, Shiva is a deity who represents transformation. Through destruction and restoration, Shiva reminds us that endings are beginnings, and that our world is constantly undergoing a cycle of birth, death and rebirth.

In Judaism, shiva is the post-funeral ceremony when family and friends gather to share happy memories of the departed. Shiva is an uplifting time, reminding the living to appreciate the abundance in this world, and to seize the day (and kugel!) while you can.

I appreciate how both versions of shiva remind us there’s a beneficial—even beautiful—alchemy of emotions that occur when you’re faced with an ending. A healthful shiva perspective can help you view what seems like the worst of times as an opportunity for better times. For example, the death of an unsatisfying love relationship can be viewed as a chance to begin a highly fulfilling love relationship—one that will thrive, thanks to all your freshly gained wisdom.

Keeping both these shiva perspectives in mind, how about celebrating the death of a marriage or any relationship breakup by holding a ritualistic breakup ceremony!

Click here to find out how people all around the world are presently throwing themselves divorce parties to bounce back happier than ever  – in my new OPRAH article!

Gratitude exercises help increase joy.

Count your blessings – literally.

Start your day listing 5 aspect of your life you appreciate.

End your day listing 5 aspects which brought you your joy du jour!

Feeling challenged, stressed or depressed? Check out my book – THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK – which has been praised by Tony Robbins! Just click this line, right here right now

I never would have guessed my happy engagement to Mitch Leff would ever wind up as a salacious news story. (You can read about it here, in an article called I’LL PAY FOR YOUR IVF, NOW ABORT IT.)

Then again, if you’ve read my story, you know there’s a lot that’s transpired in the last few months I never would have guessed. Because some of what’s been reported is completely false, I’m writing this article now, to tell my story. Maybe it is fun for the media to sensationalize this story, but this is my life and future — and now my child’s life and future — and so I really want to clear up the misinformation out there.

1. Mitchell Leff was my fiancé who I was living with when I got pregnant through IVF. In some articles, Mitchell is described as my “married boyfriend.” Totally false. Mitch told me he had been broken up with his ex-wife in Great Neck (who he always referred to as his “ex-wife”) for about a year and a half when I first met him - and that New York divorces take a while – which they do. (The author of EAT, PRAY, LOVE writes about this in her best selling book – detailing the serious relationship she had while waiting for her complicated N.Y. divorce to finalize.) When I met Mitch, he’d been living in a separate apartment – which I saw. Indeed, Mitch and his ex-wife were very busy working out “the last of the financials” for their divorce. Mitch showed me letters from her lawyer to his lawyer — debating who keeps the house, who benefits from his real estate investments, etc. Mitchell and his ex-wife were very much not a couple for a long time when he asked me to marry him.

It’s truly important to make it clear: Mitchell’s bailing on our baby had nothing to do with his exwife and their incomplete filing for divorce. Mitch did not go back to his wife – that’s not the reason he bailed on our baby. The only “reason” Mitch claimed he was bailing was because twelve days after our IVF, twelve hours after he learned I was pregnant, Mitch realized he didn’t want to start raising kids again.

2. While getting to know Mitchell, I asked all the right questions – and Mitchell not only gave all the right answers, he did all the right actions to show me he meant his answers. He said he wanted to marry me and have my baby – then did the actions of someone who wants to marry me and have my baby. He gave me an engagement ring, and we celebrated our engagment with each other’s friends and family. Everyone who knew Mitchell commented how they’d never seen him so happy. Mitchell’s mom and I wound up adoring each other. We became Facebook friends. Plus, Mitchell and I were not only talking the talk of marriage, we were moving forward — with him moving into my Manhattan apartment. He lived with me as his primary residence. My address is listed as his last residence in address searches. Because Mitchell moved into the apartment I owned, and I was paying maintenance, he suggested he pay to renovate my place, so when we had our child (which Mitchell constantly talked about enthusiastically wanting) my apartment would be workable for a family of three. To me, these family friendly home renovations Mitchell funded were yet more symbols of his longterm commitment to a family.

Its important to make it clear: We were having no problems in our relationship before the successful pregnancy. I recognize the irony, that I wrote a book called PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME. Mitchell had no Prince Harming red flags. He had all the traits for what I call a “relationship of shared virtue” – where you both empower each other to grow into your highest potential. Firstly, Mitchell wanted to grow as a person. He went to Kripalu, Omega, Menla House, therapy and read self help books – other than my own! He spoke a lot about all the lessons he learned from his failed marriage — how he recognized he wanted to become a better communicator. He also shared my same vision for a future: marriage, baby, a home full of love and laughter. Plus, he motivated me and empowered me to bloom into my best possible self. He loved how I loved to write novels and screenplays — cheered me on to write novels and screenplays. He very much appeared like a healthful, loving partner.

Indeed, Mitchell told me if I’d abort, he’d stay engaged with me. His only reason he ever expressed for wanting me to abort was that he suddenly realized he did not want to become a father again at age 51. Why he never mentioned or realized he had doubts about fatherhood before he spent $28,000 of his cash on IVF – and put my body through a hormone rampage on IVF – is completely incomprehensible (and perhaps I dare say reprehensible). People want to know – how can a self help author get conned? I’m both embarrassed and stumped. But in the end, I’m a self help book author, not a psychic, and there were truly no obvious red flags prior to our pregnancy. (Even many smart people were fooled by Madoff.)

As a self help book author, I’m right now very aware of doing what I can to bounce back from this challenge as a strong, happy, wiser, forward facing woman. I’m doing this by focusing on finding the lessons to be learned, surrounding myself with loving friends and family, being aware of having gratitude for the miracle of being pregnant in my 40′s, and trying to find forgiveness for Mitchell… and myself.

To succeed at your career and be a happy human, you gotta stay up-to-date — NOT ONLY on the outside world — but on the inside story on who you really are.

Have you changed in the last few years?

Are you married?

A parent?

Divorced?

Fatter?

Fitter?

Did you go through any life-altering change?

What interests you now?

ARE YOUR PRESENT CAREER INTERESTS AND GOALS IN SYNC WITH YOUR PRESENT LIFE INTERESTS AND GOALS?

If you’re ready to rise up higher on the right career ladder, and no longer willing to settle on staying on the wrong rungs, check out my book ENOUGH DAMMIT by clicking this line right here, right now!

According to Aristotle – the answer should be NO.

My favorite philosopher buddy Aristotle says true happiness comes from gaining insight and growing into your best possible self. Otherwise all you’re having is immediate gratification pleasure – which is fleeting and doesnt grow you as a person.

In a way the above scenario is a description of someone who does crack or drinks into oblivion.

At the time it feels like you’re avoiding pain and seeking bliss – but in longterm you’re NOT really enjoying real life — with life’s inevitable ebbs and flows which give you needed insights and exciting experiences which grow you and let you know more about who you are and what you love and who you truly love!

Aristotle has a wonderful quote related to this topic:

“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.”

Translation: I think what Aristotle was saying is that life has ebbs and flows. There’s no such thing as endless flow. Unfortunately life can sometimes feel like ebb, ebb, ebb, brief-flash-of-flow, more ebb, ebb, ebb. But every ebb always offers the opportunity to think a new thought flavor and feel a new emotion flavor. The more varied the flavors of life you get to taste, the more interesting, layered, educated, self-developed, world-experienced and mightier You will be!

I write about this topic in more detail in my new book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME.

A TIP FROM PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME FOR DEALING WITH LIFE’S INEVITABLE EBBS: You must remind yourself how it’s always your choice. You can be miserable. Or you can motivate yourself to stretch your mind—and seek out better interpretations for your love disappointments – and even love break ups!

For more check out PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME by clicking here!