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Did you ever notice that when you go away, thats often when you can see your life the clearest, from a distance of a few thousand miles away?
Im now back from Paris, and feeling the opposite of jet lag! I’m more full of clarity and motivation than ever, thanks in part to an inspiring Italian joke which Im excited to share.
How did I come about an Italian joke in Paris?
I was reading Elizabeth Gilberts truly amazing EAT PRAY LOVE on my trip before bedtime, the perfect book to read while traveling, as it inspires you to really use your vacation as spirit restoration.
That Italian Joke:
A poor man goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, Dear saint, please, please, please, give me the grace to win the lottery!! This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust: My son, please, please, please, buy a ticket!!
This terrific joke is a reminder to all of us that we must do our part to create our own good luck.
Life is not 100% random destiny. Life is a lively, interactive fusion of destiny AND free will.
The more you tap into this human perk of free will, and do positive “free will” habits, actions which you can control, the more you increase the odds you will be a winner in that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery!
Reading and thinking about this joke cured me of my jetlag. I’m truly psyched to be back in NYC doing my “free will” part to create my happiest life. And psyched to share my recommended…
“Free Will” Habits To Do List:
1. Think as many positive thoughts as you can. Each positive thought you think is a Happiness Lottery Ticket you’re gathering.
2. If you’re having trouble being positive, put in the effort to master your negative thoughts by meditating, journaling, working out. Each of those habits are Happiness Lottery Tickets you’re gathering. (For added motivation, tell yourself you are Negative Thought Intolerant, the way some people are lactose intolerant. You simply cannot think negative thoughts because they weaken you and make you feel yucky. You can only think positive thoughts which nourish and energize you, and give you better odds of winning that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery, dammit!)
3. Studies show The Top Three Happiness Determinators are (1) high self esteem, (2) intimate connections with others, and (3) doing acts of altruism. With this in mind, make sure your daily to do list is full of (1) doing actions which you are proud of (2) spending time in intimate conversation/experiences with loved ones (3) spending time giving back to the world in some way. Each of these action items are metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery Tickets youre gathering around you.
4. Control your stimulus-response mechanism, which makes you reactively pick bad choices in the moment, choices which you later regret. Instead decide to gather around you as many “Long Term Happiness Lottery Tickets” which will set you up for life, well into your crickety old age. How? Every day make sure you choose actions which move you towards your long term life fulfillment, instead of only doing easy, lazy, reactive actions, based on your short-term emergency/impulse needs.
5. Nourish your body/mind/spirit with healthy foods, exercise, meditation, sleep, sex, hugging, smiling. The more habits you do from these areas, the more metaphorical Big Ticket Life Happiness Lottery tickets youre gathering.
6. Go on a No Nuts Diet. Remove nutsy crazy-makers from your life. Nutsy crazy-makers lower your odds of winning that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery. Likewise, surrounding yourself with lots of loving, growth-directed people increases your odds of being a Mega-Happiness Winner!
Remember…each of these “free will” habits are equal to snagging a Happiness Lottery Ticket. The more tickets you gather, the more you stack up the odds that a happy destiny awaits you.
And best of all, each of these “free will” habits are ALL available to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, rich or poor, young or old!
So do your part to create your own good luck, starting today!
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Lincoln was not a lucky guy.
At age seven, he was forced to make money for his family.
At nine, his mother passed, forcing him to work even harder.
At twenty Lincoln lost his seemingly stable job as store clerk … and then by twenty-three he went into debt trying to become partner in a small store.
Three years later, just as his store was picking up speed, his business partner died, leaving him in even more debt.
At twenty-eight, after dating a girl for four years, he got up the gumption to propose. She said no.
Later, when he did eventually marry, his son died at age four.
At thirty-seven, Lincoln was elected to Congress… but… well… that was on his THIRD try. (He then failed to be re-elected. )
At forty-five, Lincoln ran for the Senate. Again: no-go.
At forty-seven Lincoln ran for vice-presidency. But… well…¦ You got it. More no-go, amigo.
At fifty-one, Lincoln was elected President of the United States … which considering his life resume of consistent failure was a very shnazzy title.
How did he achieve this great success? By holding onto some positive Lincoln thinkin.’
Even in the midst of the Civil War — a war which claimed more American lives than any war in history thus far — Lincoln issued a positive proclamation:
“It has seemed to me fit and proper that [the gifts of God] should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow citizens . . . to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.”
How could Lincoln have made such a positive plea during a time of such suffering?
Because Lincoln recognized that even in the midst of tough times, there was always something to be appreciative about. Lincoln had a naturally grateful heart.
As a life/career coach I’ve seen how the power of gratitude can not only change a person’s mood, but their results.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Make it a habit to end each day talking with your loved ones about what you appreciated about your day. What made you happy? Proud? Excited? Feel loved? By talking about it with your loved ones, you get double the perky perks, because you’re not only reminding yourself to keep a grateful heart, you’re connecting heart-to-heart!
Oh….and here are some more goodies which Lincoln was thinkin’…
“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
“You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.”
And my personal favorite Lincoln quote:
“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
And you can QUOTE ME when I say, “No matter what happens today, make up your mind to be happy, dammit!”
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I am going to be running a series of Timeless Happiness Tips which come from famous, cool (dead) people…beginning with the very interesting Ayn Rand.
First of all, you pronounce her name “Ayn” so it rhymes with “mine” – which I find very apropros, because Ayn’s famed life philosophy of OBJECTIVISM is all about going for the “mine, mine, mine” – living your individualistic destiny to its fullest potential.
“I swear, by my life and my love of it,” said Ayn, “I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. “
Ayn described this philosophy of hers as “rational individualism.”
In her famous novels THE FOUNTAINHEAD and ATLAS SHRUGGED, Ayn dramatized this “rational individualist” — this “ideal man” – this “heroic being” — as someone who lived by his own effort – never giving away or receiving anything undeserved — who honored self-achievement — and rejected envy of others.
As a self help author I’ve read many modern day research studies which support Ayn’s philosophies. The happiest people are those who tap into their “signature strengths” daily and who don’t step foot on that “hedonic treadmill” wanting more just because their neighbors have more.
I remember reading both THE FOUNTAINHEAD and ATLAS SHURGGED back in college – and thereafter torturing every college boyfriend by forcing them to read both these two books.
Lively conversation about the difference between Ayn’s highly approved view of “rational individualism” and her less condoned view of “outright selfishness” always followed.
Further followed by frisky talk about Ayn’s sexy sex scenes.
Further followed by no talk …because, well, Ayn sure knew how to write a steamy sexy scene.
But I digress…
Back to Ayn’s views…
Ayn believed that OBJECTIVISM was the secret to happiness – and that there was no greater moral goal than achieving happiness.
With this in mind, Ayn proclaimed that true happiness could never be achieved by mere wish or whim — but only by a feisty one-pointedness — pursuing your personal, individualistic passions!
As a self help book author I agree — and am often coaching clients that “The purpose of your life is to find and do the purpose of your life.”
And find and do your purpose you MUST!
To quote Ayn, “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. “
I love this philosophy. Basically it’s saying you gotta go out there and create your own good luck.
Indeed, when I coach clients I’m always telling them that a big secret to happiness and success is turning what you want in life into a PASSIONATE MUST — instead of letting it simmer as a mere SHOULD.
The “heroic beings” who follow Ayn’s OBJECTIVISM — in both her novels and in real life — are achievers who build businesses, invent technologies, and create art and ideas, based on their individualistic talents and in synergy with other fellow “heroic beings.”
Basically, Ayn’s philosophy of OBJECTIVISM is very optimistic.
OBJECTIVISM purports that the universe is built to allow each of us to live a rich, fulfilling life – if we CHOOSE to take our life by the balls.
According to Ayn, “Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice. “
Ayn is also a big believer in NOT feeling guilty about having it all — if you can snag it all.
MY BELIEF: Sadly, too many people feel guilty if they start to amass too much success and joy – and even self-sabotage.
For example, as I wrote in HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT – if you want to make lots of money, you need to feel good about what it means to be rich – get in harmony with making gobs of money. Once you’re in harmony with wealth, you will see money opportunities everywhere – even in the word “harmony” – which might even start to appear to you as if it’s spelled “harmoney”!
When it comes to monetary success and materialism, Ayn said….
“Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper’s bell of an approaching looter. “
Granted, although I agree with a lot of what Ayn had to say about importance of making a hearty profit from your skillsets – there’s a lot of what she said which I do not agree with. For example…
“If any civilization is to survive,” said Ayn, “it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject. “
Ayn writes a lot about the negatives of altruism vs. the benefits of materialism in her famed book of essays “The Virtues Of Selfishness” — a book I found both fascinating and downright offensive – as I am huge believer that it is important to give back to our world through charity and service – and indeed, I believe that doing acts of altruism is one of the biggest routes to extreme joy. When you do good, you instantly feel good.
But I know even if Ayn and I wound up disagreeing, Ayn would be cool with hearing my thoughts nonetheless.
To quote Ayn: “When I disagree with a rational man, I let reality be our final arbiter; if I am right, he will learn; if I am wrong, I will; one of us will win, but both will profit. “
And it is for THIS particular version of the word “profit” – as in TO PROFIT IN ONE’S SPIRIT AND MIND FROM HEARING NEW, EXCITING IDEAS– which Ayn consistently promotes – and which I love Ayn forever for!
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