Tag Archive for 'Aristotle'
Going through a challenging time — because you took a risk in love or career - and it didn’t turn out as you wanted?
Allow yourself to feel proud — for risking in the first place —and thereby being fully in your life — getting to feel so many passionate feelings and thinking new/interesting thoughts which can empower you to grow.
Aristotle said it well when he said:
“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.”
TRANSLATION:
Life has ebbs and flows. There’s no such thing as endless flow. Unfortunately life can sometimes feel like ebb, ebb, ebb, brief-flash-of-flow, more ebb, ebb, ebb.
But every ebb always offers the opportunity to think a new thought flavor and feel a new emotion flavor!
The more varied the flavors of life you get to taste, the more interesting, layered, educated, self-developed, world-experienced and mightier you will be!
YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
If your feeling challenged from the challenge you took - thereby tempted to think negative thoughts — stop and ask yourself: “Are these thoughts leading me forwards to the happier life I want —or backwards to making me feel negative, depressed and stuck?” Consciously choose thoughts which move you forwards! Use this word “forwards” as your mantra every time a negative belief enters your head!
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For example… it helps if your honey is VERY smart, or VERY talented, or VERY hardworking, or VERY nice, or VERY funny or VERY supportive, or VERY generous, or VERY full of interesting world lens comments, etc.
Basically… you need to see at least one magical, heart-fluttering quality about this man/woman that makes him/her stand out to you as special — admirable - cherishable - for true love to spring forth. When someone has a “1 VERY” aspect, it’s a sign of good, strong character - which Aristotle says is essential to find in a partner - because the healthiest, happiest relationships are what he calls “RELATIONSHIPS OF SHARED VIRTUE” - where you inspire each other to operate at your highest character, best potential.
Simultaneously, although finding one VERY in your partner is VERY good, finding two VERY aspects can be VERY bad.
For example… if your partner/crush is VERY, VERY funny - NON-STOP FUNNY – well, then, this might be a red flag — a sign that this person might be using all that ha-ha-ha laughter to avoid honest, open communication - and later, when you try to connect soul to soul—heart to heart—you might be greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopie cushion wall.
Or…if your partner/crush is VERY, VERY hardworking - this might also be a red flag a-waving that they might be VERY, VERY emotionally unavailable - leaving you VERY, VERY lonely.
Or…if your partner is VERY, VERY extravagant with money on you - they might be VERY, VERY low in self esteem — and trying to buy your love - without valuing what makes you (and themselves) truly priceless.
The list of “VERY, VERY” danger zones is endless. But the common red flag in all of them is the same. If someone is a VERY, VERY EXTREME of something - this means they are not operating from a place of what Aristotle calls THE MEAN ZONE - aka: the moderation zone.
According to Aristotle, everything has a MEAN ZONE/MODERATION ZONE —all of life’s actions, feelings and material goods.
Even lovingness has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between coldness and co-dependent suffocation!
Even truthfulness has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between outright lying and being hurtfully direct!
Even courageousness has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between fearfulness and rashness!
Even niceness has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between being a spineless worm and a jerk!
Let’s just take a quick moment to consider this last MEAN ZONE - of NICENESS. If sometimes you haven’t been attracted to a guy/gal because you feel that he/she’s “TOO nice!”—you were intuitively correct for not being attracted. According to Aristotle, it is actually not “strong character” to be a spineless, wormy, too nice person.
Guess what else?
You too must watch out for being a VERY, VERY spineless wormy too nice person. (After all, It’s hard to be your most attractive self when you have footprints on your face!)
YOUR ASSIGNMENT:
Brainstorm which one VERY special things your partner/crush has that make you all a-flutter? Compliment your partner/crush about them today. Next, brainstorm if they have any red flag VERY, VERY danger zones. If so, you might want to chat with them about them today. Oh - ditto for yourself. Brainstorm which one VERY special things you have to offer a partner — and let yourself feel proud and happy. Next - brainstorm if you have an VERY, VERY aspects you might need to tone down about yourself to rise up to your highest character, so you can be in your best relationship!
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According to Aristotle - the answer should be NO.
My favorite philosopher buddy Aristotle says true happiness comes from gaining insight and growing into your best possible self. Otherwise all you’re having is immediate gratification pleasure - which is fleeting and doesnt grow you as a person.
In a way the above scenario is a description of someone who does crack or drinks into oblivion.
At the time it feels like you’re avoiding pain and seeking bliss - but in longterm you’re NOT really enjoying real life — with life’s inevitable ebbs and flows which give you needed insights and exciting experiences which grow you and let you know more about who you are and what you love and who you truly love!
Aristotle has a wonderful quote related to this topic:
“We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.”
Translation: I think what Aristotle was saying is that life has ebbs and flows. There’s no such thing as endless flow. Unfortunately life can sometimes feel like ebb, ebb, ebb, brief-flash-of-flow, more ebb, ebb, ebb. But every ebb always offers the opportunity to think a new thought flavor and feel a new emotion flavor. The more varied the flavors of life you get to taste, the more interesting, layered, educated, self-developed, world-experienced and mightier You will be!
I write about this topic in more detail in my new book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME.
A TIP FROM PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME FOR DEALING WITH LIFE’S INEVITABLE EBBS: You must remind yourself how it’s always your choice. You can be miserable. Or you can motivate yourself to stretch your mind—and seek out better interpretations for your love disappointments - and even love break ups!
For more check out PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME by clicking this line here!
