Tag Archive for 'love tips'
Are you right now experiencing DEJA PROBLEMS? Are you enduring repeated disappointment in love, career, friendship, or fitness - or a combo of a few of these?
If so, you’re experiencing “programmed destructive beliefs” - via your subconscious mind.
How do you know for sure? That’s easy. Life is difficult.
As Carl Jung said: “When an inner situation is not made conscious it appears outside as fate.”
Without gaining consciousness into your patterns, you can find yourself going from saying
“I’m having one of those days”
to
“I’m having one of those years”
to
“I’m having one of those lives.”
Today I want to help you change your programmed beliefs, so you can change your life. How?
I’m gonna have you jackhammerdrill down - until you discover your limiting thinking brought to you by your pesky programmed subconscious – then we’re gonna “re-program” your subconscious - turning “destructive beliefs” into“instructive beliefs” - so you’re supported and directed to go where you need to go to live your happiest life!
I call this developing “PAIN-A-RAMIC” vision - where you’re able to stare at the pain in your life with a 360 degree lens - and view the gain in your pain — the lessons learned — turning destructive beliefs into instructive beliefs!
HOW TO DEVELOP ”PAIN-A-RAMIC” VISION:
1. Breathe deeply. Enter a meditative state. Dare to think about your five most painful disappointing life incidents.
2. Become physically aware of how your body feels thinking about these incidents. Do you feel tense in your stomach, neck, head, back? There’s a neuroscientific reason for starting with this physical focus — given to me by neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Goulston. He suggests that to achieve your best stream of consciousness, it helps to start at the lowest spheres of your brain — your animal sphere – then rise up to your emotional — then thirdly head into your neocortex – your highest rational brain processing. This slow but steady upward search for truth is the least scary for people to engage in.
3. Next up… Answer the following questions: “When it comes to (love, success, friendship, money, etc - PICK A TOPIC), I believe that…” “I don’t believe that…” “I blame my bad life results on….” “I fear….”“My childhood taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect….” “Society taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect…” “The media taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect…” “I had a trauma/crisis which taught me when it comes to (THIS TOPIC) to expect….”
4. Put all your worries from step # 3 on trial — cross-examining each DESTRUCTIVE BELIEF like a tough attorney – until you are able to turn it into an INSTRUCTIVE BELIEF.
5. Dispute and discredit your (b)lame excuses from step #3 — by gathering POSITIVE EVIDENCE otherwise — displaying proof of your talents, energy, and willpower to get what you want.
6. Dispute and discredit your “mythaken thinking” from step #3 — by gathering POSITIVE EVIDENCE that the world has supported plenty of others in their dreams – so you’re next up, baby!
7. Dispute and discredit false fears unearthed in step #3 — by gathering lots of CONTRADICTORY EVIDENCE — proving your limited beliefs are just that — limited!
8. Complete the following sentences: “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I learned…” “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I became more….” “Lucky, unlucky me, from this bad time I met ….”
8. Find examples of consistently happy, people who are successful in your topic of disappointment/pain – and spend as much times as possible with them – further shifting your belief system to the highly positive.
I promise that if you bravely jackhammer down and get to the root of your limiting beliefs, you’ll be on your way to living a life you love! And while on your life path, fromhereoin your fears and worries will become a lot they scary — as surely as when Dororthy faced up to Oz, and discovered that little Ozzie was nothin’ much to fear or worry about!
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Some of the roads we take in life are far more problematic — have many more lions and tigers and bears, oh my. In fact, if I’d been with Dorothy on her journey, at a certain point I’d have suggested she consider trying a less troublesome path than her Yellow Brick Road - maybe a Turquoise Brick Road - or a nice grassy path!
Same goes for you — and the love path you take to try to live happily ever after in love.
If lately you feel like all the partners you’re meeting are a version of bad, wrong, and “what was I thinking” - thereby these partners are forever blocking your path to reaching happily ever after love – now is the time to reassess your path.
In “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” there is a small but mighty poem called “Autobiography in Five Chapters” which wisely describes the need to get off of those more treacherous tracks.
“Autobiography in Five Chapters”
1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost . . .I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately.
4) I walk down the same street.
There’s a hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
5) I walk down another street.
QUESTION TO YOU: Where are you right now when it comes to your love life? In Chapter 1, 2, 3, or 4? Are you ready to finally get to chapter 5 - and head on down a new path - the one which leads to happily ever after love?
Today is the day to start living your IDEAL LIFE!
If you keep finding yourself experiencing a repeated pattern of bad love, TODAY IS THE DAY TO BREAK THOSE BAD PATTERNS FOR GOOD!
In my book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME I offer many techniques to help you jackhammerdrill down to understand your repeated patterns in love - then offer you techniques to break your patterns and start attracting healthier love choices. You can find out more about PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME for FREE by reading some of my many articles I’ve written on this subject on www.OPRAH.COM….and/or you can find out more about PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME by clicking this line, right here, RIGHT NOW.
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You are the common denominator in all your relationship problems. If you keep finding yourself saying, “All the men I date are emotionally unavailable, bad listeners, who suck at communicating and not capable of growing!” well, then, you must ask why you keep picking men who are this way - men whom I’ve labeled “Prince Harmings” in my book PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME.
When I coach some women, they explain how it’s not their fault - ALL the men they meet are that way — to which I say, “You, my dear, are a female chauvinist!”
I remind these women that there are plenty of emotionally available, good-listening, highly communicative, growth-oriented men out there - and then I help them to jackhammer drilldown to understand their pattern of meeting men who are otherwise!
In fact, wherever there’s an all-encompassing “always,” “all” or “never” excuse in your life, it’s a sign that your mischievous subconscious is setting you up for failure by consistently leading you back toward these repeat performances.
In many ways, for many reasons, the subconscious should actually receive bigger and better billing than mere “sub” status. It should be called the “over-and-above-conscious” because it makes so many of your life decisions.
Your subconscious is why your diary can often read like Mad Libs. For instance:
Dear Diary,
I’m___________(mad, resentful, depressed) that ___________(my past paramour, present paramour, future paramour) doesn’t_________(listen to me, respect me, love me more). It reminds me of what happened ______________ (last week, last month, last year, next week, next month, next year) with ____________ (my past paramour, present paramour, future paramour).
So what stops you from seeing that there’s far more love life options out there?
What I call The 3 Cs!
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