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Tag Archives: love
Love, Loss and What I Learned
Posted on: January 2, 2012
(Note: This is a guest blog by Jill Plotke)
Doesn’t love have many definitions? How I love my mother vs. my friends vs. my niece vs. even my dog! These are all deep loves, all deserving of our attention. But the love I want to talk about today is the heart-stopping, breath stealing kind of love.
You know the kind of love I mean…? I’m talking about the kind of love that at the beginning you wait, with baited breath, hoping they will give you a chance. The kind of love that you can spend years in – and still when they walk into a room, you smile from the inside out. Oh, glorious love!
Last year, I chose to leave a 5 year relationship with someone who I was in “that kind of love” with. After many a night with a bottle of Pinot Grigio in one hand and a box of tissues in the other, I made it through the other side of a badly broken heart.
How did it end? We said we wanted different things, but in reality we had let “that thing” creep in.
You know that thing I mean…? I’m talking about that inner feeling, that nagging doubt, that “if only” they would do that or be this. Or that “if only” I could just do this, or be that.
As much as I am an optimistic person, and as much as I do know people who have found that person that fits perfectly – the reality is that we all have gifts, and we all have flaws. And it all takes work. Happily married. Unhappily married. Committed life partner. Still on the fence. It all takes work to work it out. It takes work to ask for that first date. It takes work to make the time. It takes work to communicate. It takes work to confront. It takes work to make that leap of faith into love. And it takes work to avoid love. It takes work to deal with your baggage. And then there’s their baggage. And it takes work to be happy – plus keep pursuing happy. It takes work to grow happy in ourselves and to actively encourage that same happy in the person we love.
I used to believe in that old saying, “If I only knew then, what I know now.” Today, I prefer not to look back with regret. I prefer to look forward to the journey, because I now know, post-break up, that with it all, new lessons are always being learned. I now know, post-break up, that I discover myself today, achy heart and all, much wiser, more centered, and far more in touch with knowing what makes for my happy, so when the next glorious love comes (and it will!) it might at least be a little less work.
by Jill Plotke…
Love is a drug. Use it responsibly.
Posted on: December 23, 2011
Jon Stewart (of The Daily Show) read/loved my writing on love/relationships in a book I showed him. I asked him to commit his praise for my work to the printed word – and Jon Stewart happily gave me this blurb to promote it: “Karen Salmansohn has the spirit of a stand up comic. The battle of the sexes has a brave new gladiator.”
If you could use a good laugh about love/relationships – while you learn tools to help create a happier, healthier love life, check out my PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME BOOK - now available in a convenient ebook – which you can read ASAP on your laptop or cellphone – at the discount rate of $9.99!
Give yourself the gift of happy love for 2012 – and check out PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME! The book’s also been recommended all over OPRAH.com as offering empowering techniques to avoid and recover from PRINCE HARMINGS – while better attracting a PRINCE CHARMING.
CLICK HERE NOW to start creating more happy love in your life!…
The Unbreakable Heart
Posted on: October 1, 2011
Note: This is a guest blog by Lindsay Kriger
A funny thing happened after my break up with my ex-boyfriend Josh. Not funny as in “ha ha.” More funny as in “a-ha!” After my break up, I wanted very much to fall in love with someone new. But I was so afraid of getting my heart broken again, I developed an unbreakable heart. Although it looked like a real, workable heart on the outside, it didn’t allow any new man to get on its inside. Although I thought I was excited to meet someone new, I was petrified. Perhaps this is what made my heart unbreakable. It was a petrified heart.
Here’s the definition of petrified: “To change (organic matter) into a stony concretion by encrusting or replacing its original substance with a calcareous, siliceous, or other mineral deposit.”
Yep – looking back – I had me a petrified unbreakable heart!
My story quickly: After my break up with Josh, I attracted a man who was the opposite of Josh. I then became a lot like Josh: unavailable.
My New Man’s Biggest Complaint: I was too busy for him. For example, he thought it was weird that I would always leave early in the morning because I wanted to go running.
My Biggest Complaint: My new man was too fun. He liked to go out too much.
The Truth: I should have loved that every night this New Man texted me asking me what my plans were. I now can more clearly see that I had become super busy in an effort to become “un-needy” – as a reaction to being “too needy” for Josh. Plus, there was a potpourri of benefits in making myself “un-needy.” In particular, “un-neediness” meant I wouldn’t ever get close to this New Man – and thereby I’d protect my heart from getting broken yet again. Unfortunately, not only was I keeping myself from feeling the potential pain of a relationship (aka: rejection) – I also was keeping myself from the big gain of a relationship (aka: intimacy).
More Truth: We get no real rewards out of a relationship when we maintain an unbreakable heart. After all, the #1 real reward of being a relationship is getting to savor this delicious intimacy!
Ultimately I realized that because I wasn’t ready to let this New Man in, I should let him go. I needed time to clear my head. And that’s when I realized yet another funny thing of the “a-ha” variety.
I realized: Men actually need women to be a little bit needy of them! If you don’t need a man at all, he will become restless. Men are natural problem solvers! So, if you’re not ready to be make yourself “the right kinda needy” in a relationship, well, you’re not ready for a relationship at all.
Lindsay Kriger, Founder of If Only I Knew on Facebook …
The Red String
Posted on: September 29, 2011
Note: This is a guest blog by Diana Worthman
Several years ago I felt like I was in a constant state of sadness. Nothing I did or said made things better. This uneasy, queasy feeling showed up in every aspect of my life. Especially in the dating realm. I went from being a bubbly, funny, always-smiling woman, to a crying all the time, bitching, misery.com kind of gal. Uck! I figured if even I couldn’t stand spending time with myself, other people were probably overwhelmed by me, too. I knew I seriously needed to revamp myself – pronto!
I started to read a lot of self-help books. While reading one about Kabbalah, I learned about The Red String. Someone ties it onto your wrist, mainly to protect you from the Evil Eye – but there’s so much more to the Red String than that. The Red String is also a reminder to stay kindhearted and positive – to maintain good energy for myself – and to make sure I’m sending positive energy out to the world.
When I’m wearing my Red String, I’m making a promise to myself that I will not sit around and gossip. I will not be a hater and say things that are hurtful and insulting because I’m angry at someone. Or envious. I will be a better person, and by becoming conscious of who I am choosing to be, I will be letting the light and life back into my soul.
When I first started wearing my Red String, it really hit me that all that negative talking and thinking I had been doing was coming right back to me – a vicious circle of doom and gloom. They say that envious eyes and looks of ill will have an impact upon us, stopping us from realizing our full potential in everything we do. Indeed, that is so true. When I began wearing my Red String, I stopped that bad habit – and formed a new habit – the habit of thinking and acting in positive ways. This Red String became my positivity instrument.
I can honestly say that my life has changed so much since I began wearing that Red String. I view people differently. I react to situations differently. I finally understand that I cannot have a life of bliss if I’m spewing negativity.
I love having this simple, yet effective reminder on me – prompting me to think before I speak, knowing that the more I speak about happiness and love, the more I will have it in my life.
- Diana Worthman…
Tagged Diana Worthman, guest blog, happiness, Kabbalah, Karen Salmansohn, love, The Red String
It’s better to hold out for a soulmate than settle for a cellmate to share your life with!
Posted on: June 15, 2011
If you’re having a difficult time finding happy love because of a difficult break up, check out the resiliency psychology techniques found in Karen’s Salmansohn’s THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK – which has been praised by Tony Robbins, Gretchen Rubin, Tim Ferriss, Peter Guber – and then some – and is now going into its 7th printing! You can read more about THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK by clicking right HERE right NOW.
As always, If you enjoy my blog and posters, I’d highly appreciate it if you helped to spread the viral word – by forwarding this blog post/image to friends/family/coworkers/crushes by grabbing the url above and sending it to them – and/or posting it on FACEBOOK, and/or linking to a post on Twitter ( follow me @notsalmon),and/or joining my FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter by signing up on the right side RIGHT NOW (you’ll be in a friendly crowd of about 20,000 happy members!) or joining me for some fun conversations on Facebook at Karen Salmansohn, best selling author– by clicking RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!…
Happiness Tip: Love
Posted on: March 24, 2011
The more you think loving thoughts, the more you see love everywhere.
If you’re right now having trouble thinking loving thoughts – and are feeling frustrated by life’s challenges, check out the resiliency psychology techniques found THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK – which has been praised by Tony Robbins, Gretchen Rubin, Tim Ferriss, Peter Guber – and then some! You can read more about THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK by clicking right HERE right NOW.
As always, If you enjoy my blog and posters, I’d highly appreciate it if you helped to spread the viral word – by forwarding this blog post/image to friends/family/coworkers/crushes by grabbing the url above and sending it to them – and/or posting it on FACEBOOK, and/or linking to a post on Twitter ( follow me @notsalmon),and/or joining my FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter by signing up on the right side RIGHT NOW (you’ll be in a friendly crowd of about 20,000 happy members!) or joining me for some fun conversations on Facebook – by clicking RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
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Happiness Tip: Love
Posted on: February 25, 2011
Don’t just talk the talk of love. Walk, strut, promemade and rhumba the talk of love.
Basically, if you’re simply saying “I love you” without showing “I love you” eventually you will chew all the flavor out of those words!
And if you want to make sure you have love-packed love-life, check out my book ENOUGH DAMMIT, which offers insights into understanding your patterns and obstacles in love. You can read more about it by clicking right here, right now.
As always, If you enjoy my blog and posters, I’d highly appreciate it if you helped to spread the viral word – by forwarding this blog post/image to friends/family/coworkers/crushes by grabbing the url above and sending it to them – and/or posting it on FACEBOOK, and/or linking to a post on Twitter ( follow me @notsalmon),and/or joining my FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter by signing up on the right side RIGHT NOW (you’ll be in a friendly crowd of about 20,000 happy members!) or joining me for some fun conversations on Facebook – by clicking RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!…
Happiness Tip: Happy Love Life
Posted on: January 20, 2011
My new poster: Lust, love and like. A happy, healthy relationship grows all 3 out of 3.
If you enjoy my blog I’d highly appreciate it if you helped to spread the viral word – by forwarding this blog post/image to friends/family/coworkers/crushes, and/or posting it on FACEBOOK, and/or linking to a post on Twitter ( follow me @notsalmon),and/or joining my FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter by signing up on the right side RIGHT NOW (you’ll be in a friendly crowd of about 20,000 happy members!).
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