Tag Archives | Oprah

Angry Thoughts

How Not to Be a Jerk During Your Next Fight

Originally an article on Oprah.com

I can sum up in three “acts” the breakdowns and breakups of most relationships since the beginning of time:

Act 1: You hurt me.

Act 2: Because you hurt me, I now hurt you.

Act 3: Because you hurt me, I now hurt you and so you hurt me again and so I hurt you—and downward spiraling we shall go.

John Gottman, the famed founder of The Love Lab (a family research laboratory where where couples are studied), says he can consistently predict how long a relationship will last, not based on how well a couple gets along, but by [...]

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    Do Be Do Be Do? Make Your To-Be List Before Your To-Do List

    Originally an article on Oprah.com

    Remember how Frank Sinatra sang “Do Be Do Be Do”? Well, Frank’s a great crooner—but he’s a dyslexic self-help guru. To live your happiest life, you gotta sing “Be Do Be Do Be Do.” What happens if you focus on being before doing?

    Right now, you are probably walking around thinking a variety of things such as:

    “I want to make lots of money.”
    “I want to have lots of loving, loyal friends.”
    “I want men to find me sexy and appealing.”
    “I want a wildly happy love life.”

    Now, to get a lot of money, friends and love, you need to [...]

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      In a Crisis? Let Your Words Create Your World!

      Originally an article on Oprah.com

      Psychologists say a single trauma will strike you twice. First, you will live through the actual event—dealing with the reality of it. Second, when you think or talk about the event with others, creating your personalized story of the event, you will recreate the event in your mind. Although there’s nothing you can do about what has happened to you, it’s important to stay mindful of how you describe the trauma to yourself and others—remember that your words create your world!

      Boris Cyrulnik, a famed French ethologist, says there’s good reason to watch what you say. Most [...]

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        Karen Salmansohn

        9 Tips for Speaking Up Honestly – and Kindly

        Originally an article on Oprah.com

        You know what’s funny? People can easily see all the stupid things other people do—but you have trouble seeing your own stupid errors. Despite the fact that your error is right smack in front of your nose—or even smack on your cheek. For example: If you have a smear of ink on your cheek, you won’t be able to see it yourself. You will know only when an honest friend tells you. The same thing goes if you have a problem with being too cheeky.

        Personally, I want to be alerted if I’m walking around too inky [...]

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          What’s Your Potential? How to Know It and Grow It

          Originally an article on Oprah.com

          You know that expression, “The more things change, the more they stay the same?” Well, Aristotle thought of it first.

          A great philosophical thinker, writer and teacher, Aristotle believed that the universe is in a state of constant motion, always changing, always evolving. However, at the same time, there is one thing that remains a constant in everything—what he called entelechy or one’s essential potential.

          Aristotle believed that everything on this planet possesses its own entelechy, or as he coined it, “having one’s end within.” Entelechy is a vital force that motivates and guides an organism toward self-fulfillment.

          Consider [...]

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            Pain in life

            6 Liberating, Mind-Stretching Questions To Help You Let Go Of The Pain In a Break Up

            Originally an article on Oprah.com

            I fully understand the pain of a challenging (aka: devastating) break up. Unfortunately, I found myself very much duped by a man who convincingly presented himself as loving, committed and loyal – only to later to discover that he was more than a two-timing cheater – he was a three-’n-four-’n-five-timing cheater.

            I know just how difficult it can be to pick yourself up after a painful romantic fall. At first, you might find yourself preoccupied with a bubbling stew of emotions: depression, shame, hopelessness, outrage, despair, rage, resentment, negativity, doubt, insecurity, fear and an overall sense of [...]

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              Evolve

              Should You Break Up or Make Up?

              Originally an article on Oprah.com

              I’ve often joked that if life existed on other planets, there’s a quick way to assess if the aliens are more advanced life-form. And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with their technology. You simply need to find out if there is dating on their planet. If they didn’t have dating, it is proof they are a far more evolved species.

              Dating can really suck!

              People stay in bad relationships longer than they should because fear of the pain of dating seems scarier than the pain of a bad relationship. People prefer to cling to the familiar [...]

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