In a quick 10 second flash, “View Your Tormentors As Mentors” jumped off the pages of Karen Salmansohn’s new book, INSTANT HAPPY, and into my positive disposition forever.
I love this nugget of empowerment and inspiration. It’s so simple, yet so ingenious. We learn from everything we do and everyone we meet. A mentor is often thought of as one with an open heart ready and willing to impart knowledge and guidance. A tormentor is an enemy, one who wants to destroy and cause pain. Why not learn from both? Certainly each has valuable lessons to teach. The mentor provides a safe environment for growth, whereas, the tormentor provides an environment to test one’s resolve, self-confidence, self-love, and compassion.
I have found that my greatest personal growth has come during times of great adversity and unrest. I have also noticed that through negative thinking, I have been my worst tormentor. Actually, I think we all can be our own worst enemies by not believing in ourselves and by not loving ourselves. You can kiss happiness goodbye, if you don’t open up to pleasures, gratitude, and self-love.
I thank all my tormentors (myself, included) for teaching me:
1. I love myself. Things I do may need improvement, but they do not define me. I love and am loveable.
2. When you torment me, it’s really more about you than it is me. You may be sad, unhappy, and need to lash out to make yourself feel better. I, personally, don’t have anything to do with your state of mind. I am just in the path of your unhappiness.
3. You don’t own me or control me.
4. It is ok for you to have your opinions. Regardless of your style and delivery, I will think about the content of your message.
5. I will stand-up for myself and not allow you to disrupt my happiness.
6. I consider you a verbal terrorist. I do not negotiate with terrorists.
7. I do not wish harm to those who torment. I am capable of forgiveness. I want you to find your happiness.
8. I cannot truly know anyone else’s personal pain.
9. To be important enough to gain anyone’s attention, good or bad, is an honor.
10. You can only hurt me if I allow you to.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.